Leave It All Behind

Chapter Eighteen

Chase. His eyes. His hair. His dominant personality. Him. I miss him. I can't comprehend it, after I'd accepted my feelings for him and him for me, after he'd drunk my blood again, after everything, he just left me.

I can't believe he said he can't be with me. Won't be with me.

I... I'm so confused! My hormones and emotions are going crazy, and I can't decide what I want anymore! I know I'm acting like a spoilt child, but I can't help it, not after all that's happened to me...

Weeks ago I hated all of them (except maybe Tristan) with a passion.

Now I don't know anymore. I don't know anything for certain anymore, everyone is keeping secrets from me, not telling me anything. I wanted nothing more than to go home when I didn't know anything. Now, I don't even know where home truly is.

I loved Tristan. Then Chase. While loving Tyson and Flynn at the same time.

Who am I kidding, I still love them all as more than friends and brothers, but I don't want to be Queen of Vampires!

And I certainly don't want to get more involved with one of my brothers!

Urgh, I don't love any of them!

You know you love them all. Even our cruelest brother Tyson. Choose, or soon you won't have too. I'll choose for you. I am you anyway.

Shut up shut up shut up! Things are complicated enough already without being suddenly reintroduced to my 'vampire side'. I don't know how much longer I can take this!

"Hey, are you okay?" Someone asked from behind me, putting one of their hands on my shoulder.

I turned and looked up, my gaze meeting emerald green eyes.

"Are you okay?" Tyson repeated, more slowly.

"Um, yeah I-"

Tyson wrapped his arms around me and pulled my body into his, surprising me a little. His body was surprisingly warm, his skin strangely soft against mine.

"I know you're not okay" he whispered in my ear. "What happened?"

"Nothing, really Tyson I'm fi-" he cut me off again.

"No, you're not 'fine' Sophia! And I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's bothering you. I may have been asleep for most of your stay here but I wasn't oblivious to your presence! I can tell there's something wrong, that is the natural of my gift and my curse"

He wrapped his arms tighter around me, giving me another gently squeeze.

And I don't know why, but I trusted him. So I told him everything, poured my soul out to him.

How confused I was. My feelings. The thrones I saw. Everything.

By the time I'd finished, I was an emotional wreck. I was gripping handfuls of Tyson's shirt in my hands and crying into his chest. He rubbed my back, a sympathetic gesture.

"It's okay" he said quietly. I looked up into his eyes again.

"But it's not okay!" I shouted back. I was tired of being told that everything is okay! Because it's not!

This may be normal to them, but not for me. I grew up living a sheltered life, and suddenly my world was turned on its head!

Tyson flinched, his expression hurt.

"I'm sorry" I apologised, guilt filling me as I saw his face.

"Don't worry about it. I don't think any one of us can properly understand how difficult your position is. I'm... just going to go" he removed my hands from his shirt and left me alone.