wanderlust ▷ lucaya

one; welcome back

finally decided to use my lucaya fanfic account! vv excited for this story.

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O N E

[ m a y a ]

IT DIDN'T TAKE A GENIUS TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE WERE GOING TO BE STARING AT ME.

That much I registered the night before, as I was laying my outfit on the bed and gathering my books together. My mom was in the living room with Shawn at the time, eating Chinese food, but not me—she'd ordered me fried rice, but I told her I didn't have much of an appetite. My mind was too busy swarming with thoughts regarding my upcoming return, the one that I'd dreaded since the day I decided to go back.

Part me of me wanted to stay home. Hiding beneath my covers, drawing in my sketchbook, wallowing in self pity. But the other part of me—the more rational part of me—knew that completing senior year on a laptop was a bad idea. I had to face the world at some point, and I figured twelfth grade was the best time to do so. When else? I couldn't avoid Smiley Riley and Sparkly Farkly forever. I could, however, attempt to avoid Ranger Rick for the rest of my life. That was the plan, at least.

I brushed the thoughts of the cowboy to the side, instead looking at the clock which hung against my purple wall. 7:22 a.m., it read, which meant I needed to get going if I wanted to take the subway—which I actually didn't, but it was the easiest mode of transportation for now. A deep sigh that I didn't even realize I'd been holding in escaped my lips as I grabbed by backpack, slinging the strap onto my shoulder.

"You're a fierce Amazon warrior, Maya Penelope Hart," I told my reflection as I stared into the mirror. "You can do this."

But in reality, I knew I couldn't do it. I knew the truth was that I was just a scared little girl hiding behind a shell of an Amazon warrior. I knew I wasn't really strong, just broken.

I knew I was completely and utterly screwed.

∆ ∇ ∆

The subway was the same—cold, dark, smelled of body odor and way too strong coffee. But I loved it nonetheless, which explained why the depressing Bleecker Street Subway Station was able to put a smile on my face as I walked down the steps earlier this morning. I spotted many familiar things, like the bench, the mural of Mr. Feeny, even the Matthews and Hart Umbrella Foundation.

Of course, our little umbrella charity led me to think about the one person aside from Ranger Rick who I was completely and utterly terrified to see. Riley Matthews, the one who I betrayed—I never meant to betray her, actually. It wasn't like I laid awake at night, inwardly coming up with plans to ruin the little ball of sunshine's life, it just sort of happened. But if I had a time machine, I'd most definitely go back and change it, because she was the one who got hurt the most out of this. Not me.

I was on my way to John Quincy Adams High School from the subway station now. Actually, I could see it just up ahead, with the usual stampede of students surrounding the outside of the building. It took everything in me not to turn away and run right then, because I had to face this—but if I almost ran at just the sight of the school, imagine how horrible it'd be when I finally saw the people I'd been avoiding for so long.

My grip on the strap of my backpack tightened as I approached the school, wind whipping blonde curls over my face. I wished it'd do that inside the school, too, because that way, I wouldn't have to show my face, and no one would know who I was. But when they did figure out who I was—when they thought, "Oh, that's Maya Hart! The best friend betrayer and the girl who runs away from her problems!"—they were going to judge me. I knew that.