“Hi…” I say in a voice so timid and afraid, I'm ashamed to have even spoken at all. She turns to me in surprise, disbelief painting her beautiful face. Her green eyes dart to different parts of my body, trying to make sure it's really me. Her eyes light and open, walls all down. She looks happy to see me for the moment and my heart does that thing that only she can make it do. I don't react though, because I know her, better yet, I know how she gets when you hurt her and god did I hurt her. I don't want to break the momentary relief and surprise that's impeding the actual reaction she is sure to have, but I know I have to. I hurt her when I promised I wouldn't and I deserve whatever is coming to me.
“You dyed your hair… It looks really good.” I know my nonchalance will break her out of her dazed stupor and set her off, which is exactly why I said it, instead of the million I'm sorrys that I've wanted to say since I did something that required an apology. I can see the exact moment she shuts me out, the moment her walls all come up to keep me out, and that hurts more than any pain I've ever felt in my life because I used to have my own fucking door. Her eyes turn to ice, face to stone, and she speaks to me with the voice she normally uses to scare people away. The “I‘m scary and you're weak so walk away” voice. She used it on me the moment I met her, but I wasn't weak and she didn't scare me, so I didn't walk away. Atleast, until I did.
“Yeah. It's black, kind of like your soul. Now get out.” She says to me in a voice that isn’t quite yelling, but makes you wish it was.
“Lauren…” I sigh, shoulders dropping. She holds her hand up commandingly to silence me.
“No. Don't Lauren me. Get out. Do what you’re good at doing, Camila.”
Well that one stung. I deserved it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm not a runner, but I ran. I don't hurt people, but I hurt her.
I take a deep breath to regain some semblance of composure and daringly take a tentative step towards her. Lauren automatically stiffens and takes a step back, taking a defensive stance by crossing her arms across her chest. Great, now she's really shutting me out.
“Laur please… just please let me explain myself. I know I hurt you and I deserve your anger, but please just let me explain.” I practically beg. I need her to just let me explain, I messed up, but god do I love her. I just want another chance to show her that I love her. I see her eyes soften for the quickest of moments before, all too quickly, they harden once again and she levels me with her all too familiar glare. I resist the urge to flinch, forcing myself to remain strong, she doesn't scare me. The anger is all to cover how sensitive and just completely loving she is, it’s to protect herself. What comes next though, that makes me rethink my earlier thought about pain. This is the most painful thing I've ever felt.
“Fuck no. You left. All on your own. Do us both a favor and just stay gone. We should have never been together in first place…” She takes a frustrated breath and runs her hand through her hair angrily, “I told you that in the beginning. That it wouldn't work and that you’d probably get hurt. Except the fucking plot twist is, I didn't hurt you. It was the other way around. Jokes on me huh?”
All the color drains from my face and I finally understand what all those characters in books mean when they say their blood runs cold. No. I made a mistake, I know that I did, but I can't lose her. You can't just lose the love of your life because of a momentary act of weakness. Please no.
“Please…” My eyes fill with tears when I see no sign of hesitation in her expression, it looks like I've actually lost her.
In an action quicker than I can even comprehend, she pushes me out the door and in the hardest tone I've ever heard her speak in, she says the two words that will echo in my mind, completely consume me, until I can be blessed enough to hear her voice again.
“Get. Out.”
Hey guys! So this is the first camren story I've uploaded here and it's a fairly new story idea. I have a vague outline of how this will go, but I'd like to know if anyone is interested in this story continuing because if not, I'll just hide back under the rock I so comfortably live under lol
Please let me know! Love yourselves beautiful people.
-Alexis
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
Take Me Back
फैनफिक्शनYou can do everything right and nobody will see it, but the moment you make a mistake, that becomes the only thing you're known for.
