Insignificant

Will you be my girlfriend?

Oscar and I have been dating for 3 months now and I'm happy with where we are at. The only problem is he keeps asking me to be his girlfriend and I can see the hurt in his eyes especially tonight. We had spent the day together and we went over to Matt’s to finish the day. As I was tidying up with his girlfriend Oscar walks in and asks me to be his girlfriend. At first I thought he was joking so I started laughing until I saw the other’s faces. I immediately said no and walked outside and as expected he followed more angry than I'd ever seen.

"I don't understand you or where we are going. I don't get it. I have been there for you regardless of whether it bugged me or not! Since you were 16 for crying out loud and this is the thanks I get. I'm almost 30 and I'm still laying my life down for you. Maybe its my fault for loving you so damn much or for thinking I could get your mind of that fool you're still clinging on to! Damn it why won't you be my girlfriend? Why?" He asked with tears running down his beautiful face. I couldn't bear to look so I turned away.

"Look at me!" He demanded and I did and gave him his answer.

"The last time I was someone's girlfriend they broke my heart into little pieces and trampled on it as I watched helpless okay." My defense was weak but that's how I felt. Yes he brought me more happiness than I ever felt with his brother but I was scared to give my heart away especially because I trusted him.

"No no no no no! I will not ever ever ever let you compare me to him! How can you compare me to him. When did he ever show compassion for what he did? Never, he never showed you any compassion because I was the one doing it. I was the one who loved you before he even put his stupid eye on you. I was the one who loved you despite how damaged you were. I was the one willing to help fix you because I love you. Do you know how hard it was for me when I saw you with my brother or when your lips looked so plump after he'd kissed you and I would wish it was me. Or the soft moans I would hear through the walls when you guys slept with each other or even when it was your prom and I dropped hints that I would love to take you and how I would make it special for you. You just gave up and didn't go. I despised seeing what my brother had done to you. But after everything between us you still can't trust me. I must be the fool in our midst, if, after 6 years I find you again and I'm still comforting you despite the fact I've been lost without you. Don't you get it I love you." He whispered the last part. I couldn't take it anymore so I left taking Matt's car. I drove round and round trying to figure out what my answer would be and I think I knew when I arrived at his apartment. Since I had the key I just went inside and waited for him.

He came in 3 hours later, eyes bloodshot and after seeing me he just walked past without a word and went to his room. After 10 minutes of boosting myself up I went to his room, where the lights were switched off, I got undressed and went to lie with him. He turned over as not to face me and when I scooted closer and placed my hand around his waist he tensed. This was really strange because he'd never been tense to my touch. Ever!

"I want to be your girlfriend." I stuttered out.

"You don't sound so confident." He brushed my comment off. I removed my hand from his waist and pulled him onto his back and sat on him.

"I want to be your girlfriend. I don't just want to have that relationship where we sleep with each other but we don’t know where we are or where we are going. Whenever I'm with you I'm happy, peaceful and I feel loved. So I am telling you that I want to be your girlfriend." I stated more confidently. He immediately flipped us over.

"There is no going back from here because you're the woman I intend to have my babies with. So you're sure?"

"Okay slow down tiger, one step at a time and yes I do want to be your girlfriend." I said smiling and we kissed and then we started having sex.

"I'm sorry I never realized how much you loved me." I whispered in his ear when we were done. He chuckled before he replied,

"I'm just happy that I can tell you I love you without you being scared." With that he fell asleep. Truth be told I was terrified but if he pushed his emotions aside for me then I too would do the same because truth be told I did love but the realisation hasn’t kicked in yet.

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Not going to lie favourite chapter so far :) 

Thanks for reading :)

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