Take me away: Joshleen

Chapter 12: I love her!

Josh's pov

"Hey Josh! Wait! Colleen screamed. I turned to look at her. She was still a little sweaty from the audition. "Um... Hey." I said. "Uh, I just... Um... I wanted to talk to you." She said. "I don't think that's a good idea right now. I'll see you later." I said as I walked away. But she grabbed my arm and told me: "Wait! Okay, I know you must me really mad at me, but I want to explain. Can you please let me?" She said. "I just... I don't want to." I said. I turned around and walked away.

Colleen's pov

He left. I could not do anything about it. He didn't want to talk to me. "Josh! Please don't leave! I really want to talk to you!" I said as I ran after him. "Colleen! Stop it! I don't want to talk to you! I don't need to talk to you! I suffered for a whole year! And just when I was about to forget you, you appear out of nowhere, and ruin everything! This is not fair to me! Please just leave me alone. That's what's best for both of us." He said. His eyes were a little wet. "I... I..." I said. "Just leave it there." Then he left. Tears were coming out of my eyes. I knew he was mad at me, but I didn't imagine he would be this mad. He didn't even want to see me. I was sobbing. I had never felt this humiliated before. I didn't know what to do. Finally I decided to go to my room. I opened the door, and Heather was there. "Heeeey! I was about to... What happened sweetie?! Are you okay?" She asked based on the way my eyes looked. "I... I ran into Josh *Sniff* and I wanted to talk to him *sniff* but he wouldn't let me! And then he said he didn't want to see me ever again! And I..." I said. I could not keep talking. She hugged me and guided me to my bed. We talked all night. Heather made me realize I still loved Josh. That's why the fact that he didn't want to ever see me again got me so bad.

Josh's pov

As I walked to my room, hundreds of tears were rolling down my cheeks. The pain came back again. That pain that you feel when you love somebody and you can't have them. It's a torture. I had felt it a whole year, and I could not resist another year like that again. I just couldn't. Colleen said she wanted to talk, but didn't she think about my feelings? I don't know what she wanted to explain, but  I don't think talking to her would make me any good. I got to my room, and laid in my bed. I was looking to the roof. It was entirely white, and had a Michael Jackson poster that Colleen had given me. I thought about Colleen the whole night. Honestly, I couldn't figure out what to do. I had suffered for a whole year, thinking every night of her. Cutting myself. I even tried to kill me once. And now, the woman I had been suffering for, wants to talk to me. It was all I ever wanted a year ago. Talk to her. But now, I don't know if I want it anymore. I just recovered, and to bring back all of those memories, will not do any good for any of us.

The next day...

Colleen's pov

I decided I would skip classes that day. I just wasn't feeling very good. I had cried most part of the night, and didn't get a lot of sleep. I couldn't believe I still loved Josh. And the worst thing is that I was not getting him back. He hated me, and that made me hate myself. Heather offered to skip classes and stay with me, but I couldn't make her do that. She made me promise that I would get out of the room sometime during the day. I agreed and she left. The morning passed and it was lunch time. I decided I would go to the cafeteria and buy something to eat. I wasn't very hungry, but I promised Heather I would get out of the room, so why not do it then. I went down the stairs, and walked to the cafeteria. Suddenly, I see Josh putting things in his locker. My heart accelerated. He looked at me, and for a second, I saw the same look he gave me when we were together. Then he turned and left. I just stood there in silence, not walking, for a good 10 minutes.

Josh's pov

I went back to my room, after I saw Colleen in the hallway. I went trough the door, and Charlie was there. My best friend. "Hey buddy! How long have you been sitting here?" I asked. "Just a few minutes. I just wanted to check on you. You didn't answer my calls in the whole summer. I was crazy worried." He said. "Oh... That... I just... you know I was kind of in a depression. And I didn't want to talk to anyone." I said. "Yeah... Are you okay now? I saw Colleen the other day. She said she wanted to talk to you. Did she?" He asked. "Uh, no..."
After that, I explained everything that had happened with Colleen the day before, with tears running down my eyes. "Joshy, your mom always says,  when you know, you know. The last time I saw you, you told me this girl was the one. This girl was the person you wanted to be with your whole life. That doesn't happen all the time, buddy. Opportunities come and go. You choose which ones to grab. You decide which ones are worth fighting for, and which ones are not. And buddy, I think this is an opportunity that won't come again." He said after I explained everything. The rest of the day, I spent it thinking about that last thing he said. "This is an opportunity that won't come again." It was true, I had never felt what I felt when I was with Colleen. And a broke up had never hurt so much either. Was it worth taking the risk?

*flashback*

"Josh?" Colleen said. "Yes, baby?" I said. "I love you so much. Like I truly do." She said. I looked into her eyes and pulled the hair out of her face. "I think I've never felt this way before, sweetie. You are my everything." She cuddled.

*End of flashback*

I was holding the tears. Everything was so confusing. Did I want to talk to Colleen? Did I want to fix things with Colleen? And the most important question. Did I still love Colleen? After a few minutes of thinking, the answer to all of this questions was yes. I couldn't believe it.

~"How could I be such a fool?! I love her... I LOVE HER!"~ I thought to myself as I jumped out of my bed.

(The photo is from the flashback)

Okay I'm sorry it was such a crappy chapter guys :( But sometimes you feel inspired and sometimes times you don't. I promise next chapter will be more interesting. Thank you for reading 💘💘