Jadam

The Same Swingset -Jake

WEN:This is it guys.  The final chapter of Jadam.

A soft breeze whispered through the sagging branches of the aging willow tree where we carved our names. I watched the leaves dance on the gentle currents, one dancing farther from the others and becoming tangled in my bewildered brown curls.

It's moments like this that make me stop. I pick the crinkled leaf from my hair, and I can only smile. I remember the good times. I remember the bad times. I remember when we screamed Fall Out Boy at each other. I remember when you pitched a tent in the middle of my living room in record time. I remember when I egged the principal's house, and you spray painted your ex-girlfriend's initials on the front door.

Yeah, there were good times.

Remembering them never ceases to throw me into a pit of hell. I can only fall helplessly farther, bones turning into rubber and causing everything to fall back to reality from the high that was us. Salt water wears through the thin layers of a smile, melting it into something much more painful. The silent sobs in my throat decide breathing isn't an option.

He's never coming back.

Any passerby would have thought I was praying to a tree, but I was lucky to be alone in the unwieldy chill of early Autumn.

It feels like years, centuries even, before I decide to pick the corpse of my former self up and keep going.

Gravel crunched under my feet, breaking the silence of early morning. A slight chill pricked at my arms, making me regret leaving the house so early.

They're the same sounds. It's the same cold. Even the same old swingset. None of it seemed to change, but everything was different now.

Of course it's different.... He's not here.

I hated thinking about it, but its at least time to admit it. No matter how many times I said he was okay, or he said he was okay, he just wasn't. Like warm sand in your open hand, Adam slowly but surely slipped away in the solitude of an unwieldy hospital bed.

It killed me, knowing the last thing I said to him was a joke.

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"Are you gonna be okay, Adam?"

"Duh. I've made it this far, right?"

"I guess..."

"Don't be so sad. I'll be here tomorrow. I promise."

"Hey Dingus, don't die while I'm gone, okay?"

"Only if you bring me some damn McDonald's. The food here is shit!"

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I wondered if he was in heaven, if there was one. Maybe he's looking down and watching me. Maybe he misses me as much as I do him.

I love you Adam. I love you, and I miss you.

Goodnight Adam. I hope you sleep well while I wait to see you again.