Falling Into Place

Chapter Seventeen

*Maya's POV*

Waking up and before even opening my eyes, I felt a heavy, warm pressure on top of my stomach. Lucas was asleep beside me with his arm resting on top of me. I layed there, smiling to myself for a few minutes and looking at Lucas' sleeping face.

"This won't last."

I got up out of my bed as smoothly and quietly as I possibly could and I succeeded in not waking up Lucas.

I knew my mom was already at work and wouldn't be back until her lunch break when she came home and made a sandwich then left again.

"You're alone. Lucas is sleeping, your mom is at work and your dad, well..."

I got myself a cup of ice water and walked over to the window in my living room, looking out at the few streets in view of my apartment.

"You're weak, you didn't do it."

I ran my hands through my hair and set my cup down, walking through my kitchen and back into the living room. Checking on Lucas, he was still asleep and I sighed in relief.

"Weak. Can't believe you didn't follow through with it! Lucas doesn't even care!"

I quietly shut my bedroom door and walked into the bathroom, keeping quiet because the bathroom was right next to my room where Lucas was asleep.

"Do it, you'll feel better. You know you will! You don't have to tell anyone. No one has to know, right?"

I opened a drawer slowly and reached for a small piece of tape that was hidding something far more meaningful. A small, shiny, rectangular piece of metal that had been there for a long time!

I pulled the tape up and grabbed the blade, sitting on the edge of the bathtub and looking down at the tiny piece of metal in my hands.

"It won't take long, it doesn't even hurt... unless you do it right. Stop being so weak!"

I flipped the tiny blade around in my hand and sighed. I couldn't do it! I'd done so well as to not use this blade and I know for a fact Lucas would be furious with me if I did! He already thinks I'd done it once since I'd been clean, which I hadn't... but he was literally crying when I lied to him about that!

"Lucas probably won't even notice!"

The little piece of metal was really mesmerizing... the way the light hit it, the way I remember how easily it would slide across my skin, the blood...

Maybe Lucas didn't have to find out... Maybe he wouldn't notice if I wore long sleeves and bracelets for the next month or so...

I let a few shaky breaths out as I moved my hand down and pressed the blade to my wrist.

"Do it! Do it! Do it!"

"Maya!" I jumped at the sudden, loud voice shouting my name. I accidentally nicked my wrist with the blade before dropping it onto the ground, standing up to see Lucas standing in the door frame of the bathroom. "What are you doing?" He shouted.

"Damn it..."

"Lucas I-"

He walked into the bathroom and picked up the tiny blade off the floor and sighed in disappointment.