Falling Into Place

Chapter Sixteen

"Riley what's going on with Maya? She's not herself lately..."

"I don't know, Lucas. She hasn't talked to me much this week." Riley sighed, closing her locker.

"Is she even at school today? I haven't seen her."

"She wasn't in first or third." Rolling his eyes, Lucas walked towards the front office through the crowds of people that were changing classes.

"Lucas Friar. Check out." A lady behind the front desk handed Lucas a clip board with some basic information to fill out and took it back when he was finished. "Doctors appointment." He smiled before exiting the school building and making his way to his car.

Driving, Lucas was full of anger, he was worried, and he was anxious. Maya never just 'doesn't talk' to Riley and she tells someone when she's going to miss school.

He got out of his car and walked up the stairs to Maya's apartment. He knocked on the door, being respectful, and didn't hear anything. When he tried to door knob, it was open which was weird because Maya always locked the front door when she was home.

"Maya?" Lucas yelled through the apartment. "Hello?" He heard a sigh and made his way to the source of the little noise. He found a half asleep Maya laying in her bed. Messy, tangled hair and in pajamas.

"You should be at school." Maya mumbled, rolling over to face away from Lucas.

"I could say the same about you." He chuckled. "Why didn't you tell anyone you weren't going to be at school today? Are you sick?"

"No."

"Then why aren't you at school?"

"I'm tired." Maya pulled up her blanket, wrapping herself in its warmth, and closed her eyes.

"I'm getting tired of hearing that, Maya. You've used that as an excuse since we went skating."

"So I'm tired? Big deal."

"Are you eating normally?" The first thing that came to Lucas' mind is that she wasn't eating right again and she had low energy because of it. Groaning, Maya sat up and looked at Lucas with a serious look on her face.

"As normally as I can right now."

"Meaning?"

"I truely haven't been hungry." She laughed in amazement, pushing her nappy hair away from her face. Lucas glared at her, not believing a word that had come out of her mouth. "I promise Lucas, the last thing I want is to lose all that weight again. Trust me."

Lucas looked around her room taking in all the odd things. Clothing on the floor, shoes spread around the room, it just wasn't as put together as her room usually is.

"When was the last time you got out of bed?" Maya shrugged, truely not knowing the answer and Lucas shook his head.

"What?" Getting defensive, Maya crossed her arms and felt very angry with Lucas all of a sudden.

"Maya you're not happy. Look at you!"

"So what? I'm fine! I'm not dead am I?" Lucas was taken back by Maya's blunt statement and took a minute to try to think if what to say back to her.

"I- Maya why would you say that?"

"I don't know." Maya fell sideways into Lucas' lap, leaning a shoulder on his leg. He pushed her hair away from her frowning face and stayed quiet. He didn't know what to say so he continued to mess with her hair, rub her back, anything comforting he could think of. "I'm sorry I wasn't at school..."

"Don't say you're sorry. I don't know why you're unhappy, but your happiness and you trying to figure yourself out is way more important that school."

Maya stayed quiet. She wasn't even sure why she was unhappy! As far as she was concerned, the thoughts popping into her head were normal for people her age. Everyone talked about it like it was, so why should she see it as a big deal?

"Why don't you go get a shower, and then we can go out somewhere or stay here. Whatever you want to do." Nodding, Maya pushed herself off Lucas' lap and headed for the bathroom, knowing she was in need of a good shower.

She turned the water on and grabbed a razor so she could shave, and hopped in. She washed her hair, conditioned it, and washed her body, then came the hard part... Shaving. She took the razor in her hand and looked down at it.

"Do it!"

Her breaths grew shorter and shaky and she stared down in awh at the three little silver blades that she knew she could easily pop out of the razor.

"You'll be happy if you do it."

Flipping the razor over, she looked at the pieces and mentally popped the blades out, into her hand.

"Do it!"

"Lucas!" Maya's voice was shaky and tears brimmed her eyes, threatening to fall down her already wet cheeks.

"Are you okay?" Lucas knocked at the bathroom door and slowly opened it. Maya held out her hand through the shower curtain and handed Lucas the razor that was causing her so many overwhelming thought.

"Why are you-"

"I don't want it." Maya, now crying, whimpered through the shower curtain that separated them and asked Lucas to hand her the towel that was sitting on the counter. She wrapped herself in it before stepping out of the shower and speed walking to her room, locking the door and locking Lucas out. She quickly got dressed in pajama shorts and a long sleeve sweater and dried her face and hair as much as she could with a towel.

When she walked out Lucas stopped her, grabbing her shoulders and looking her up and down in a panic.

"Are you okay? What'd you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Then why did you-"

"Becuase I didn't want to do anything." She pushed past him and layed down on her couch, trying to keep from crying again.

"That's good. You stopped yourself, Maya. I'm proud of you!" Lucas sat down by her legs and rubbed her back. He was truely proud of Maya, but she was doubting him even though in her heart she knew he was being sincere.

"I cant stop myself everytime, Lucas. I'm not that strong."

"You're stronger than you think." Maya stayed quiet, and looked over at Lucas. He gestured for her to sit up, which she did, and he pulled her closer to him and hugged her. "I'm serious. There's a lot more fight in this little body than you think." Maya laughed and leaned her head on Lucas' chest. "There's that cute laugh. Now, you wanna tell me what's bothering you?"

Still leaning against his chest, she shook her head and furrowed her eyebrows, even though he couldn't see her face. Maya didn't understand what the big deal was. Every sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year old gets thoughts like this right? Or was it just her?

"Well, when you decide it's important enough to tell someone, tell me. I'm trusting you to know when it gets to that point." She smiled into his shirt as he kissed to top of her head and squeezed her a bit tighter. For the first time this week, the thoughts weren't popping into her head. That was actually the longest she went without getting a negative thought that ruined her mood.

"Thanks."