Misguided Mornings// h.s

Natural Disasters

Harry

"She sounded.. Good." Liam said as we hung up the phone. The rest of them chorused in with 'Yes' but I remained silent. She did sound good. She sounded really well in fact. A lump was forming in my throat just thinking about her. The way she laughed, her smile and that small glint in her eyes that I didn't get to see often enough.

"Harry, you okay mate?" Niall asked, though he knew full well that I wasn't.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I murmured. They damn knew well that I wasn't but said nothing anyways. Licking my lips and hitting my hands against my knees, I stood up and ran a hand through my hair.

"Where are you going?" Zayn asked me. I shrugged. "I'll go with you." I didn't argue or say anything for that matter. He followed me through the boxes and wires of backstage and out around to the back door of the concert arena. His shaky hands brought out a packet of cigarettes and like he always does, he offered me one. I shook my head no but watched him light up. I was never too keen on the smell but I didn't mind.

"She hates me." I murmured. Zayn shook his head, pulling the cigarette out from between his lips. As he spoke, wisps of smoke wafted up around him.

"No she doesn't." Zayn argued. "She loves you."

"Maybe but she's not I love with me Zayn."

"You don't know that." Zayn continued. "Is she seeing anyone?" I shrugged. I wouldn't know. I hadn't spoken to her since November. It was now April and the only form of contact we had had was when she wished me happy birthday and when I wished her happy birthday. Other than that.. Silence.

"I don't know I haven't talked to her." Zayn snorted.

"That's right. It's radio silence between the two of you." He puts the cigarette back up to his lips. "Harry, this is childish. You can't not talk to her."

"She doesn't want to talk to me. It's a mutual thing Zayn."

"Are you sure about that?" He asked looking me over carefully.

"I.." I stopped. I didn't know actually. Not for sure anyways. I had just assumed she would want nothing to do with me. She said that right? She had said that she wanted to stop talking to me? I couldn't remember. Maybe I made that up in my head. I wanted to give her space. As much space as she needed. Maybe I thought she would change her mind.. But clearly me parading around with Taylor swift didn't fix things. Soon, it was me flying out to see her instead of Terra. And.. Don't get me wrong. She is an amazing girl. I think she might actually like me but I can't like her because my heart is with Terra. It will always be with Terra.

"You don't know do you?" Zayn said as he finished off the cigarette, the hazy smoke floating around us. I watched him throw it on the ground and rub it out with his shoe.

"I thought she didn't want to talk to me. Or maybe she told me not to talk to her. I don't know. I just..I remember she wouldn't let me get a word out. She wouldn't let me say my but about this."

"Your bit? You mean how you're with Taylor? She knows tour side of it Harry."

"No she doesn't. Or at least she didn't understand it the way I wanted her too."

"Harry, you lied to her, you told her they would let you two come clean. You lied."

"I didn't!" I snapped at him, hitting my fist against the wall. Zayn just stared at me, waiting for me to get it off my chest. "I didn't lie to her. They lied to me." Zayn started leaning up against the wall as I threw my hands in the air and walked a little ways away from him. "They said we could and then they realized that me being with some "normal"girl wasn't good enough publicity." Zayn smirked and shook his head.