Why?: A Look Inside My Mind

Friday, January 15, 2016

I know he's your father. I understand that you love him. But you can't keep doing this. You need to put your foot down. You need to stand up for yourself. Escape for a little. Is dangerous and I'm worried about you. It's affecting me too. And your 'father'. We're worried sick.
(In this piece, the second time I say father I mean my ex. She calls me Mom and him Dad)
-Ebony

Don't do it. You're so beautiful. You're worth so much. We love you so much. We care for you. You're not alone. You shouldn't have to cry. You shouldn't have to hurt. You shouldn't have to feel pain. We love you! That should count for something, right? Please don't do it. It hurts me that you're hurting. It tears me apart. I love you and I want to know that you're ok. But how can I trust that you won't go hurt yourself? Please. I'm begging you. Don't do it.
-Ebony

I wear you next to my heart in remembrance of what we could have had. I wear you on my finger as a promise of what we will have. I don't know why, but I love you. Madly, deeply, infinitely. I told you one and I will tell you again. I will never start loving you.
-Ebony

Is it possible to love two people so deeply? At the same time? Is it healthy? Or am I going crazy? I'm not being cliché or ironic. I'm actually asking a serious queation. Am I going crazy?
-Ebony

I think I may be a nymphomaniac...
-Ebony

You had no right! You had no right to be jealous! You broke up with me! You set me free! You should not care who I mess around with! And if you do, it's not your place to say anything about it. And I don't care what you were feeling, you had no right to be s duck to our daughter. She was trying to help, she wanted to know if you were ok.
And who said you could kiss me? I know I kissed you first, but you should have speed me. You should have protected me. If you had, we wouldn't be in this situation. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
This whole "I'm not good enough for you" crap is bull shit!
I hate you for making me want to get back together.  I hate you for kissing me back. I hate you for telling me what you did. I hate you for being so good to me.
-Ebony