Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (Teacher-Student Romance Robert Downey Jr.)

Can't Let Go.

-- Robert's point of view --

I can'tthink.

My head is resting on the keyboard of my laptop, writing random wordswithout meaning as I turn it from side to side. It seems as if thereis nothing inside of my mind. Plain blankness surrounding my brain,eating it up from the inside. Hollow.

I lift my head up and look at my reflection on the screen. I looklike shit. My hair seems to have lost it's mind, dangling in everydirection, leading it's own life. My face looks like a worn outmattress. Nevertheless, I still look better than any other humanbeing on this world. Even on my worst days. Can't help it.

But somehow the words won't come out right.

Write a newbook, they said. Itwill be fun, they said.

Itdamn well is not fun. The last ones were easy. They just sort of cameto me.

Butafter what happened here in New York and then in California, nothingjust 'comes' to me.

The sound of the city fills the room as I open the window to myright. The cold air rushes inside, making me shiver in my shirt. It'sthe same shirt I wore two days ago. The same I wore yesterday. Andthe same I will be wearing today.

It smellslike her.

How can a scent linger on a piece of clothing for so long? How isthat even possible. I mean, physically.

Two days have past since it happened and the air begins to feel likeDecember. Eight months. I waited eight months for it and now it'sover. There hasn't been a single day in this time that I haven'tthought about it. Not one day, where she hasn't crossed my mind. Inthe most random situations.

And it hit me hard. Every damn time, it felt like someone had punchedme in the gut. And then it was gone. One second to the other. Butthen the rather uncomfortable part occurred.

Everything about her, her smile, her smell, her touch. It all cameback, so vividly, I felt dizzy.

Didn't write a word in over half a year. The moment she was gone, mybrain stopped working. It stopped spilling words and phrases oranything near a sentence. Nothing.

And then there she was. Entering the room in a shining blue suit thatrevealed all the right parts of her body. She was more mature thanbefore. England had changed her, I could tell.

I wasn't sure if she'd be there. Neither Hannah or John had given itaway. Nobody was sure. And the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew Iwouldn't write or be the same anymore, until I could feel her in myarms again. Until I could lay my hands on her, feel her lips on myskin, hear her mutter into my ear. How she says my name. Screaming itwhen she is angry, mumbling it when she's annoyed, whispering it,when she is turned on.

Just thinking about her in that way makes me nervous.

And when she appeared in the door, giving me that look. The look Iknow so damn well. I almost went in for a hug, but stopped myself andstretched out my hand instead. The moment our skins touched, my bodyignited after almost eight months. And I could see it in her eyesthat she felt exactly the same way.

Talking to her felt like Heroine running through my veins. And all Icould think of was her body on mine. And then this little kid had toruin it.

Alexander.

I remembered him the minute he appeared behind us, making Aria jumpfurther away from me. I knew that they were together. John had toldme, keeping me up to date on my woman.