A Nobodies Heart

Chapter Twelve: Black Roses

 

I was incredibly foolish to ever think that any goals I had set for myself would come true. I have always been a pathetic excuse of a human being and always will be. Even in my happier years, darkness lingered close by just stalking every step I took. Montages of memories were flashing through my mind at light speed. It felt like my brain was going to implode; maybe it already had judging by the blood running out from my nose. Pools of blood stained my rustic blue jeans and everything I perceived was blurring together.

 

‘’Goals…unachievable’’

 

The montage stopped on perhaps the most painful of all memories. It was the day of Emily’s death. I swang my head back on the tiles. Over and over, I praying the pain would numb out the memory but it only resulted in more blood and brought the memory on faster.

 

I’d dialled 911 five minutes ago…and they still hadn’t arrived. I couldn’t wait any longer so I scooped her up into my arms and rushed to the car. This was the first time in my life that I had been behind the wheel of a car and for the life of me; I couldn’t figure out how to operate it. I thought that all my years of playing driving simulation games in my youth would apply to real life…it just so happens that the virtual world has nothing to do with the real world. Every time, I stopped at the lights I would stall the car and then struggle to take off again.

‘’Don’t worry Emily! I will get you to the hospital in one piece!’’ I reassured her as I stalled the car for the fifth time in the same spot. I always had her in the corner of my eye and her lifeless face made me shiver. Her eyes were blank and her mouth was slightly opened with dribble oozing out.

 

Does God get a kick from watching me suffer?

 

I swear he does because every single imaginable inconvenience kept popping up. He must be sitting on his throne looking down at me wickedly laughing while saying:

‘’Oh my…he is rushing towards the hospital. I know! Let’s create tons of inconvenient road blocks and accidents. Oh yes, I think that would be terribly hilarious!’’ He tries his hardest not to burst into laughter just thinking of the idea of torturing me.

 

Dear God,

If you hadn’t realised, prick, it’s not me who is suffering! It’s my sin-free girlfriend. Yeah, she is about to die because of you. So, could you please kindly fuck off?

 

Much love,

Lucas!

 

Well, there’s a miracle! I made it to the hospital without either causing an accident or killing myself or Emily. Without even sparing a minute to think, I zoomed to the passenger’s side and picked Emily up. I held her close to my chest not caring that her drool was leaking down my favourite tee. I used her uninhabited body to knock people out of my way not giving it a second thought on the people I might be bulldozing. I used my left foot to slam the Emergency Room’s door open. I quite possibly gave everyone in the room a heart attack…I think someone threw their hot coffee half away across the room, thankfully for me though it landed in a pot plant.

‘’Excuse me, sir!’’ The receptionist growled. I couldn’t care less about what she was babbling on about. Probably something along the lines of this a place of silence and peace; I just ignored what she said and rushed to the front desk.