A Nobodies Heart

Chapter Two: Knowing You're Alive

I've had my body submerged in the cold depths of my bathtub for almost an hour. I can't help but feel that I'm at my best [mentally] when naked and cold. The sight of my bare skin, reminds me that I am still human. My body is more or less an empty vessel. Only made up of the essentials: bones, muscles, organs, limbs, blood and hair; emotions are missing.

Yeah...I think that's my best attempt at being 'poetic'.

I failed...

Miserably.

I would like to say that I love my apartment in its entirety, but I don't. Instead, I spend enormous amounts of time just soaking up the ice cold water in my bathtub (why cold water you ask? Well, it’s because I can’t afford to pay hot water bill anymore).I believe the reason why I love the bathroom so much is because the bathroom is commonly known a restricted area where no one but the person intending to shower goes.

The world can't see me in my bathroom.

Therefore, I can be whoever I want.

I like to wear my glasses in any kind of condition. Whether it be sleeping or bathing. Most people are ashamed of their glasses; me, on the other hand, love them. Why?

No reason. They just live on my face.

Wait...it frustrates me when people don't provide reasons for hating/loving something [especially hating]. I'm not like everyone else...I am intelligent and mature. So, I will think of a reason for wearing my glasses 24/7...and a darn good one for that matter!

...

Wonderful...I guess there is no escaping the fact that I am like everyone else. Unintelligent and immature. Just when I was proud of myself for something, reality kicks me in the ass...yet again. One more point for reality. Total tally so far:

Reality: 21

Lucas: 0

As I close my eyes in distress and finally the ritual begins...

Phase one completed...Entering the water world, also known as my bathtub.

Begin phase two...Think:

Gravity. I always wondered; if the earth didn't protect us humans from gravity (via having multiple layers of crust and whatnot) would it be cruel and evil and pull us into the centre of the earth and slowly burn us alive? Hold on! Humanity wouldn't exist if this were the case......because Earth would be a black hole. God, I am stupid!

Is there anything I am good at?

Returning to the topic of gravity...That particular power seems to control my life; to the point of utter madness and chaos.

A day in the life of Lucas:

- Gravity, pushes me out of bed at 6:00am

- Throw my lifeless body into my bathroom

- Back to my bedroom where I dress myself

- Maybe if I am lucky; gravity will fling me into the kitchen where I can eat breakfast

- Then shoot me off to work.

It's almost same at night:

- Drags me back to my apartment after a painful date with time at work.

- Plonks me onto my couch.

- Later on that night, it pulls me back into my bedroom where I can finally sleep again.

The headmaster of all this power is of course the big man himself…God. That man loves to torture me I swear. God supposedly loves everyone equally and we’re all his children. Yeah, well I must be that one child of his that he just doesn’t love and wishes never existed. Because he is always doing something to make feel even more terrible about myself.

Haha! Time to change the subject!

Roger the yellow rubber duck floats towards me in a very subtle way. He is the only company I have in the bathroom. Correction: the only allowed company in my bathroom. I exchange so many secrets and discuss many topics with Roger. He can't talk back, he can't judge me, and he can't fight back if he disagrees with what I say...Instead he replies with that lemon yellow happy glow and big smile of his. Makes me feel like he is listening and agreeing with me...

Something not many people do often.

So, thank you Roger the yellow rubber duck that inhabits my bathtub. Without you, God would have gotten the best of me a long time ago. I hope we’re never separated.