Confusing

17

This might trigger. I'm not for sure but just incase I'm letting you know now
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I woke up to my phone ringing. shuffled around in my uncomfortable hotel bed till I felt my phone. I looked at the screen and realized I had 13 missed calls from Ethan and several texts from Grayson. I turned my phone off and got up towards the bathroom. I slightly fixed the jungle my hair created throughout the night. I jumped in the shower quickly washing my hair and body. I was blasting my music not giving a care in the world. I packed all my things up and checked out my room. When arrived home I saw Grayson, Ethan, Cameron, and my dad all talking frantically. Grayson looked over and made short eye contact with me. Ethan looked up at Grayson then over to what he was looking at. Me. He stopped what he was doing and sprinted to over to me. "OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? ARE YOU OKAY?" Ethan interrogated me only making me feel worse for not feeling the same about him. I nodded slowly tearing up. Ethan let off of me to let other people get a chance. "I was just gone a day, guys." I said slightly laughing. "Without telling anybody." Cameron said pushing my hair out of my face. Grayson suddenly crashed into me giving me the tightest hug possible. I stood still for a bit then relaxed and wrapped my arms around his torso. Sadly we soon let go. I just wanted to hug him forever. But I couldn't. I had Ethan. We soon separated ways to our homes. I plopped down on my bed and just looked at the ceiling. That's all I could do. I had no desire in me to do anything else. It felt has if all my emotions had left. My thoughts soon took over my mind. I couldn't think of one thing. they all took over. I had no control over any of them. I eventually escaped all of the thoughts and fell asleep.

When I woke up
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I rubbed my eyes. I slowly sat up. I walked over to my bathroom and took a quick shower. I grabbed my towel and dried myself off starting with my hair and then down to my legs. I wrapped the towel around my chest and walked over to my dresser. I grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie and slowly slipped them on. I went downstairs and grabbed a banana from the kitchen. I trudged over to the living room and turned on the tv. I was suddenly surprised at the feeling of a hand touching my shoulders. I could have sworn I was home alone. I looked back without hesitation. It was Grayson. "Hey," he began quietly, "we're all a little worried about you." he finished while walking over my legs to sit next to me on the couch. "Why?" I questioned worriedly. "You're not the same you as you used to be." Grayson said putting his hand over mine and rubbing my knuckles. I flinched at first then relaxed under his touch. "I'm moving, again," I paused jerking my hand back, "I'm not necessarily happy about that." I stood up and went to my room. I paced back and forth. Not shortly after came busting in Ethan. "GOD ANDREA WHY DONT YOU JUST REALIZE IM WORRIED ABOUT YOU," Ethan projected at me not hesitant about it, "I CARE ABOUT YOU ANDREA! I LOVE YOU!" I froze. It's not the first time he had said I love you. Just the first time I realized I don't love him. I pushed passed him and ran down the stairs. I looked around. I ran through the front door as if nothing was there. I came to a stop. I knocked on the shiny, bright, beige door that stood in front of me. I clenched my fists and knocked slightly on the door. A few seconds later Cameron answered. "Hey," she spoke with a bright smile. "Hi, um is Grayson here?" I questioned shortly taking a peek at her. "Oh, you just missed him," she reported, "he went to the coffee shop-" I stopped her. I ran completely ignoring Ethan walking over towards me. I finally came to the little coffee shop that Grayson loves. I opened the door. I looked around trying to slow down my breathing. "Grayson." I huffed finally making eye contact with him. "Andrea?" Grayson smiled taking his glimpse away from the window. I don't know why he was looking out the window. It was pouring. I shrugged it off and trudged over to him "Grayson," I forced in between my breaths, "it's you, -it's- it's always been you." I forced those last words out like my life depended on it. "What?" His face lit up like a kid on Christmas. "Grayson, I-I- ," I paused from continuing. Should I be doing this? I shrugged off the thoughts that circled my head. oh well. "I love you," I smiled brightly. He stood up from his lonely corner seat and met up with me. "I love you, Grayson. I always have. But I'm just now realizing it." I whispered while my smile slowly but surely fading away. 'say something already'. "I love you too. I always have." he blurted wrapping his arms around my lower back giving me a tight squeeze. I loved this feeling. His touch of his soft but muscular arms around my back. The smell of his very masculine but somewhat feminine cologne. knowing his presence made me the happiest person in the world. He slowly released his tight grip. He looked down into my eyes and smiled. I smiled back. man were his teeth just absolutely perfect. My thoughts were ended by a sudden roar of applauses. I looked around and saw everybody clapping, laughing, and whistling. I totally forgot where we were. I quickly grabbed Grayson's hand and began down the sidewalk. This time without getting rained on. we appeared at my house to find Ethan sitting on my steps. I quickly released Grayson's hand. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. My toes go numb. My knees become shaky. "Ethan I'm sorry. But I'm not happy with us anymore." I stumbled over a few of my words not really sure how to end a relationship. "I want nothing more than for you to be happy," Ethan stood still. I saw his eyes go glassy, "even if that is with my brother." he finished hesitantly. I looked back into his eyes and saw one tear stray. He looked down. "I'm sorry." he stated before running towards his house. I felt so bad knowing those tears. Those tiny little tears were because of me. "You should go check on him," I said looking up at Grayson. I walked away feeling terrible. I looked back just for one last glimpse of Grayson's beautiful brown eyes. He saw me then looked down and walked off. He seemed disappointed in something. Probably me. Probably us. The last thing I want is the only people I talk to be disappointed in me. I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a cold bottle of water. "Are you all packed and ready?" my dad peaked from behind the wall separating the hallway and the kitchen. "Just a few little things left." I said hanging my head low. I totally forgot about moving. I went up to my room and packed the last few things up in a box. I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling before getting a text from Grayson. The text read 'wanna get dinner with me?'. I quickly replied with 'yes'. I sat up on my and went to my dresser to change into jeans and a T-shirt. I grabbed some sneakers and then quickly grabbed my jacket then walked out the door. I looked down in front of me and there sat Gray. I didn't say anything at first. I just wanted to admire him and how perfect he was. "Oh hey." he smiled showing off those perfect teeth. I forced a smile and continued down the sidewalk with my hand in his. There was nothing better than this moment. We finally reached the pizza shop down the street. He reached out for the door and pulled the foggy glass door open. I walked in and found the perfect booth. We both sat and talked about everything and anything. Except about me moving. I didn't want to accept the fact that I was moving. Our night soon came to an end and I had to push this question. "What are we gonna do about me moving?" I questioned worriedly continuing our walk home. "We can facetime." he spoke hanging his head low. "That's not the same." I whispered looking over at him. "I know." he said wrapping his muscular arms around my back and giving me a tight squeeze. we came to my front door and stopped in our tracks. "Goodnight Andrea." he whispered lowly giving me one last hug. "Goodnight Gray." I mumbled against his soft Cali hoodie. It was a long hug. It was better than anything before. I loved it. It sadly came to an end. I had to go to sleep if I wanted to catch my flight tomorrow morning.
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Here it is. I hope you like it. Also, I'm sorry if this triggers anybody. It was kinda how I was feeling at the moment. No need to worry I'll get through it by myself like always. I'm sorry for not uploading in like 6 months or so. I think the last time I uploaded was new years. I tried making it a little longer. Its kinda hard to tell on my laptop but, anyways I hope you guys like it. I'm gonna work on the next chapter right now so, Bye<3:)