'M' is for Moron and 'K' is for Krazy?

Crush

Camila's POV

I look at the time in my phone and it reads 7:20 a.m. after much complaining because my body decided to wake up before my alarm clock usually goes off, I finally get up from bed and start getting ready for the day. I eat a banana first and then start my morning hygiene. Thirty minutes later and I'm almost finished. Today I woke up decent enough to clean and brush my hair, all that there is left is getting dressed. I have no clue on what I should wear, so I close my eyes and pick something random from my closet. When I open my eyes I look at the yellow casual dress that I randomly picked out and settled for it. I pick my converse, put everything I need in my bag. By the time I'm finished is 8:07 a.m. Huh, I'm actually early. I decide that with my spare time I could eat something else rather than just a banana. I make myself a sandwich, pick some strawberries for a change, and some orange juice. I sit down to eat while I scroll through Tumblr and Instagram. While munching on my food and scrolling through social media I get a text from Dinah. 

Cheechee - Good morning Walz! I hope you're okay this lovely morning :3 
Huh, that's awkward? Dinah isn't this cheery on a Tuesday morning. 
Me - Where is Dinah and what have you done with her?

Cheechee - Rude! Can't a girl be nice to her best friend nowadays. God, I swear this world is messed up. 
Me - Come on Dinah... I've known you since the 9th grade, have some respect. What is that you want?
CheeChee - Damn right we've known each other for a long time! And you have the nerve of not telling your BEST FRIEND of your new found crush?!?! Shame on you Chancho! 
Me - HAHAHA you have to be kidding me! I already told you we would talk later, but I haven't had the time. And she's not my crush Dinah... 
CheeChee - You don't even have time for me anymore huh? So, that's it? That's how is gonna be? Have you replaced me? Do you have another woman!?!?! AND DON'T DARE LIE TO ME CABELLO
Me - LMAO! There is no other Dinah. Wtf?!? Tell you what... Why don't we have lunch today at the cafe and we'll talk there whatever is your delusional mind desires to know. 
CheeChee - I don't want your crumbs... Go to your side chick! I don't need you!

Me - Ugh, I'll see you at 2:00 :3 love you Drama queen

Dinah didn't respond to that last text. I was kind of relieved because she was starting to give me a headache. God, I can only imagine all the questions she'll make me later on. Not that I mind talking to Dinah about my problems, issues, whatever other rant I have in mind, or other type of drama going on in my life. Is just stressing explaining yourself to other people when you don't even have concrete answers. Is a stressing situation for sure, but hopefully I won't faint or drop dead. I throw away what I left of my breakfast and plop down on the couch while staring to the ceiling.  I sigh and start to think about what Dinah said. Crush. Do I really have a crush on Lauren? I can't deny that with the way I've been feeling and acting around her, it could be somewhat accurate to say I do have a crush. But on the other hand I doubt it. I've always been super picky when it comes to people. Not that I think "I'm the greatest there will ever be!" or think "I'm a worthless pathetic piece of shit who doesn't deserve to be loved". I just like making sure the people that I surround myself with are worthy and valuable, heart wise. I can be very socially awkward and shy, but once I warm up to someone and they start becoming special to me, I'll be there to take care of them in any way I can. So is safe to say that's a major reason I have never had a girlfriend before. I just don't like exposing myself to that kind of vulnerability. Because even though love is beautiful, when you really love, it leaves you vulnerable and exposed. Oh boy and Lord knows I love hard. 

I keep thinking about the possibilities of me liking Lauren and even though it scares the crap out of me. A part of me smiles at the idea of being more than friends. Holding her hand, snuggling close to her, playfully biting each other, telling super bad jokes, hearing her laugh, her smile, her eyes looking at me intently while she caresses my face. Falling in love. I really do want to fall in love. It's scary to think, but I should give myself a chance, right? Regardless if it's with Lauren or with someone else I should try to expose myself out there. Sometimes I'm so stuck on what's ahead of me that I forget to live my present, or reminiscence about the past on 'what ifs' and 'I wish'. Is a never ending cycle I always find myself in. Somewhat regretting my past and hoping better for the future, but in reality not living my present at all. If I want something I should start today. And that's what I'll do.