Just one look

~001~

~Beca's point of view~

*Beep, beep, beep* The annoying sound of my alarm clock wakes me up. I know, it's eight o'clock right now, because my dad told me to set the alarm for 8:00 am. I press the
snooze-button and I lay back down, hoping to be able to stay in this position for an hour or more, but I can hear my dad yelling my name.

,,Beca!" His footsteps are tapping on the staircase quickly and not long after that, he comes into my bedroom. ,,Rise and shine, Becs! It's your first day of college. Barden University is waiting for you." I let
out a groan. Why would I want to go? It's taking four years of my life. The only thing, I want to do, is being a DJ. I want to live in Los Angeles, become the most famous DJ of the world!
I don't want to be at college. ,,Come on Beca, you've promised!" Oh crap, he's right. ,,You promised me to try this university for one year."

,,Yeah, I know dad." I say clearly annoyed. A voice in my head tells me, that it was the most stupid thing to do, because he's going to make me remember my promise every single day. ,,Just give me some more time to wake up. Mornings aren't my favorite part of the day."

,,Okay. Breakfast is ready in about half an hour. You need your strength!" He tells me and opens the curtain, which causes, that a little sunshine lights up my room. Why is he so
happy anyways? Yesterday I tried to speak with him about my doubts. Doubts about my sexual orientation. In fact, I think, I'm gay, because I feel more comfortable around girls. But
I'm sure, he wouldn't listen to me, and say, it'd be just a phase. And also, he'd be very disappointed, if I were gay. Right now, I just want to hide in my bed and stay at home, but I can't. Dad would force me to go. But I'm really scared. A new school, new students to impress, and of course: my classes. I've never been to such a school as Barden, with dancing and singing. At my old school, I was bullied a lot, so I don't trust most of the people and I've built walls around me; it isn't easy to manage them down. My dad thinks, going to Barden would help me, to let finally at least some people in, but it's not that easy. I'm insecure as hell and I don't want everybody to hate me, so I don't let anybody come closer. I
am thinking too much right now!

I go to the bathroom and take a shower, thinking back: When I was reading about Barden and it's education choice, my eyes just stopped at the words: music and producing. That's my thing! So when I was at the university for a first visit for more than about an hour, I signed up for that education. My dad doesn't need to know this and I don't have to tell him. He dislikes DJ's, and if he doesn't like something, he automatically wants me to also dislike it. Well, I won't quit DJ'ing, just because he doesn't like it. Becoming a DJ is my biggest dream since I was a kid and I'm not letting anyone get in my way. I will become a famous DJ, I have to keep believing. Dreams can come true, right?

Suddenly my whole body starts shaking. The warm water, I've been standing under, is really cold right now. My dad always does that! He turns off the hot tap from below and thinks, it'd be funny.

,,Jesus, dad!" I scream as loud as I can. ,,I showered for about five minutes!"

,,Beca, hurry up! Barden is waiting for you." Sometimes I get mad at him. It is annoying, that everything has to go the way, he likes it. He thinks, he knows, what's best for me, but he
doesn't. He never asks: ,,Beca, what would YOU do?" or ,,Beca, what do YOU want?" But no, everything has to be about him. I'm just glad, that Barden has its own rooms. I can move out of this place and live there. There I can be whoever I want. Gay or bi doesn't matter.

,,Beca!" A yell comes from below and with a little groan I put on some clothes and walk to the living room. On the large table, there's a bowl with cornflakes in it. He still doesn't know
my favorite breakfast. My mom always makes pancakes, I love pancakes! ,,Finally, there you are." My dad's voice is full of joy when he notices me. I sit down in the
chair and start eating my cereals. I try to eat very slow, because I really don't want to go to Barden, but that's not possible. ,,You have to hurry up Becs, if you want a ride. I'll leave in
five minutes." He gets up and puts his plate on the kitchen counter. I follow his example, but I put my bowl into the dishwasher. My dad looks at me, but I just give him a face and walk
past him. I'm not cleaning up his dish. ,,Are you ready?" He looks at me and I just nod.