Never Too Late: A VA Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty-Nine

 After Adrian left, Dimitri and I sat in silence for several long minutes, mulling over everything he said. I was still a bit shell-shocked from everything he had said, but things were slowly evening out in my mind. I could mostly understand where he was coming from in the respect of not deserving to be in Ivan’s life. Personally, I didn’t want him anywhere near Ivan right now. If that changed at all in the near or far future, I wouldn’t hesitate to include Adrian. As things stood right now, I was pretty sure I’d take a shotgun to his head if he came within ten feet of my son. Maybe, when the day finally came that I would allow my son to know his biological father, maybe then I would also be able to forgive him for what he did to me. Right now, though, the wound was too fresh, too raw. I still had nightmares and flashbacks. I still wasn’t 110% comfortable around any man other than Dimitri. And Ivan, I realised with a start, but he hardly counted; after all, he was in my stomach.

“Roza?” Dimitri inquired. “Are you alright?”

I nodded absentmindedly, drawing circled on my stomach thoughtfully. Adrian had said to go to him for anything I needed, but I knew I wouldn’t. It didn’t feel right, and anyway, Lissa, my mom, my dad, they were all there for me. I paused that thought and rewound. Well, my mom was there for me. I didn’t know what was going on with Lissa, and my dad....that was a whole another can of worms I didn’t feel like prying open at this point in time.

“So, breakfast?”

I nodded, not really paying attention. I focused on the part in Adrian’s speech where he had admitted the rape was mostly him, that he was told to simply ruin my life. I gave a sad sigh. Well he had certainly succeeded. Sort of. After all, this pregnancy had not only given me something I had never even thought was a possibility - my son - but also gave me Dimitri. A family I never had, or dreamed I’d ever have. I always thought that I would grow old, watching over Lissa and protecting her and her family, or maybe I’d die in battle, a heroic, lonely death. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined I would suffer the worst moment of my life, but get so much love out of it.

Suddenly, I remembered something else Adrian had mentioned - darkness. He had never mentioned it during our time with him and Victor (wince) hadn’t said anything about it last year either. But now that he mentioned it, I realised he was right. I thought back to how every time Lissa used magic she would always grow depressed or out of control - until she didn’t. Until I was the one out of control and angry. My breath caught at the thought. Was I taking it? Adrian had said it was a darkness that took over his mind, made him go crazy, make his mind fragile. I thought back to all the random outbursts I would get, that toned down a bit, until Adrian was back in the picture. I frowned. I hadn’t gotten overly angry in the last month, not since Avery had come back. However, Lissa used magic constantly, when she wasn’t drunk, that is. Maybe the alcohol numbed it like it numbed our bond? I sighed, deciding that must be it, since Adrian did the same thing. How was it affecting my child, though? My hands fluttered on my stomach, patting it as if to make sure my baby was okay.

“Roza?”

I stilled my hands, not wanting Dimitri to worry.

“I’m fine,” I forced a smile. “Just thinking about what Adrian just told us.”

“You shouldn’t worry,” Dimitri muttered, then said something in Russian under his breath.

“What?” I gave him a questioning look.

Dimitri shook his head, not answering. He instead waved me over to the table where a plate of steaming pancakes slathered in butter and drowned in syrup sat in front of one of the two chairs.

“Wow, Comrade, this is the unhealthiest meal you’ve cooked me in a long time,” I commented happily, digging in.

“Well, I figured you deserved something good after yesterday, and felt that you needed to keep your energy up.” His eyes glittered with mischief as he implied that he wasn’t exactly talking about my heroic rescue.