For Him - Shawn Mendes

EVERYTHING is too much

SHAWN
3rd of May, 2016

"And this is your manager?" Alessia asks, her hand extending out to Hannah's.

"Photographer," She corrects, the wince in her voice noticeable only to me. The girl in the red dress stiffens.

Alessia doesn't notice and continues to confidently tell us a story of the time she tripped in front of Ariana Grande. Her perfect teeth flash as her head leans back in laughter, and I join her. Hannah looks down at the carpet nervously.

I turn to ask her what's wrong when Hailee Steinfeld attacks me with a hug. "Shawn!" she smiles, "Long-time no see! How are you?" She pulls away and her eyes widen when she sees Hannah. "Hey, I don't think we've met. Are you Shawn's girlfriend?" Her smile widens, "I like your dress!"

Her cheeks flutter a shade darker and I resist the urge to kiss her. My heart falters when I remember Andrew's strict rules. The press must not know.

"This is Hannah, my photographer," I mumble, my lips pursing together, "and best-friend."

Hailee jumps at this. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Hannah."

"You too," She replies shyly, and I can't help but notice the forced smile. I bite my bottom lip.

Hailee disappears into the crowd and as quickly as she left, her absence is replaced by a mob of interviewers. A tall man in a suit sticks a camera in my face. "Shawn Mendes, is it true that since your break-up with Fifth Harmony's Camila Cabello you've remained single?"

I almost can't believe his words. A lump forms in my throat and I have to hold myself from lunging at him. He's only doing his job, I remind myself, nosy bastard is in the job description.

"Yes," I lie, watching through my peripheral vision as Hannah walks away, towards where Andrew and Geoff are moving towards the stage. Guilt devours my thoughts and I have to blink to regain sanity. I hate lying. "I'm trying to focus on the music more," I continue, "album two is taking up a lot of time, as well as the tour which can get pretty hectic at times."

"You hear that ladies?" The interviewer turns to the crowd beside him of gushing girls behind a barrier, "The Shawn Mendes is single."

I stare at the man in disbelief. Does he not care about the music? Does my relationship status really matter that much?

I amble away from the carpet feeling weird. I should be excited; I'm nominated for three awards! But as I escape the flashing cameras to take a seat beside my manager I catch a glance of Hannah's face, and I wonder why I can't tell the world about her.

HANNAH

"Hannah!" He called, catching up to me. His hands rested on my shoulders, his chest rising and falling in an attempt to regain his breath. I was forced to look at him. "Gorgeous, where are you going?" He asked, his tone quiet and concerned, "Andrew's been looking everywhere for you- he's by the car. We have to go, if we're seen here it's going to get craz-"

"If you're seen." I interrupted, wriggling away from his touch. A pained look flashed across my face and Shawn winced. "I'm just gonna walk back to the hotel."

I turned to leave but he grabbed onto my arm again. "Hannah, talk to me. What's wrong?"

My eyes trailed down his body and landed flatly at the award in his hand. I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again, a nervous breath escaping my lips. You're too good for me. Look at yourself, you're wearing a jacket worth more money than I'll probably see in my life. I can't do this. I took in a sharp breath. "I'm tired."