For Him - Shawn Mendes

trust WITH me

SHAWN

15th of August, 2014

"Cameron?"

He turns, and so do I. I don't have to think twice to know it's her, because I know her face, I know her eyes and, God, I know her smile. But today she's not smiling.

Cameron taps my shoulder, glancing at me. "I'm gonna go buy the girl another ice cream. Talk."

"I should go..." Hannah says, the pain in her voice almost agonising.

I panic internally, "No, Han, I'm so sorr-"

"Don't," She shrugs, "be sorry. It's fine, I get it. Camila," Han draws a breath, "she's beautiful. Girl looks like she fell from heaven. If I were you I'd kiss her too."

I shake my head, "H, it's not like that."

"Then what is it like?" She whispers. My insides deflate at the angst in her voice. I know she cares about it more than she's letting on, and it only makes me feel like more of a shitty friend.

"I can't tell you here," I whisper, looking around.

She sighs, as if this is exactly what she expected. "You're full of shit, Shawn." She kicks a rock, and a tear falls to her cheek.

I go to wipe it but she shrugs me off her. I exhale, a shaky breath of confusion. I need to tell her.

"I know you hate me right now," I wince at the reality of it, "but I need you to trust me."

Han gulps as I sit on a bench beside the path and gesture for her to join me. She does, but she keeps her distance. "Let me tell you the truth."

HANNAH

"A contract?" I repeated, confused beyond belief. I tried connecting the dots together, but it felt like trying to find consolations in the stars at midday.

Shawn nodded, "For my label, yes." he tried his hardest to be calm but I could see it in his eyes that he was panicking. "For publicity. It's fucking stupid."

I raised my eyebrows, "And you didn't tell me, because?"

"They wouldn't let me."

I pursed my lips together, breathing in. "Why?"

My best friend shrugged, apologetic and frantic. "They were scared you'd tell. I don't know? I just don't know."

"I don't know either, Shawn." I paused, shaking my head. I didn't like this. "How do I know you're being honest with me?"

"Because you can believe in me."

I exhaled, focusing on his brown eyes. It surprised me that within the brown were specks of yellow, dark yellow that made me love the colour even more. He's my best friend. "So you're not dating Camila?"

"Han, you can believe in me," He repeated, taking my hand in his, "I'm not dating Camila."

How could I hate this boy, when every time his skin grazed mine I felt as though my whole world was melting into heaven?

"How do I know I can believe in you?" I asked, still unsure.

Shawn leaned back on the bench, his right hand still intertwined with my left. "If you can't believe in me," He said nonchalant, "then I hope to God," He paused for a second, squeezing my hand, "that there's still a slither of you that believes in us."