His Collection

THRITY-THREE

As I sat still, straddled over her body, my eyes orbit her till she exhaled softly her last breath. Her round black eyes twinkled in sync with her blood, and it didn't bother me that they were staring back at me, nor that there was a human cocoon up there looking down at me like some Jesus Chirst statue during church. My lips shimmered as I faced Lance's mother.

"Church," I said it as I remembered a church, then a choir, and then finally myself singing in front of faceless people. Crying alone, I landed a fist to Alice's body. "Why can't I see their faces?!"

Tears fall on her clothes, and I focus my attention on them. The dry blood wasn't hers; never had I seen her wear them, and they wear a little tight on her, so they couldn't have belonged to her. My fingers picked at the ripped jeans, and a small shard poked inside the pockets. Pulling it out, I lift it to my face, and tilt it while wondering where it was from.

Not thin enough to be simple glass, and it was almost too thick to be from a mason jar. As I feel it between my palms, I gasp out when it cuts me. The sting brought back an aching pain: a car crash.

My lips parted as I sobbed with my eyes to my palm. "N-no." Without Lance to stop my train of thoughts, my mind led me through the fog of my conscience.

Again I look to Alice, then see her face be replaced by my own. It was me, bloody, and bruised after an accident. A car accident, a truck to be exact. Throwing the shard, then scrambling away, I hug my knees while looking over to the bloody wings that flapped Alice's body to a heaven right for someone like her.

Pictures started to become clear as the church faces started to smile back at me.

"Mommy," I cried. Then the next, my dad. Soon after I named every single person till the memory switched to scenes from one of an old movie. "A Street Car Named Desire..."

"...to me the psychological, mental films are creepier than those demonic movies."

I didn't recognize the voice in my head, but it repeated it over again and this time it came with a face; eyes bluer than any Montana sky during the summer, and hair like soft chocolate during the winters.

Flashes of him, and I running around, laughing, it all hit me harder than the landing itself.

"I remember, I remember everything," I sobbed into my arms while the memories started to darken, and cloak my chest.

Lance's face over mine as I cried. His grunts as I tried to escape. The wolf I killed. The blood over my face. Kyle's sleeping face as the sun set behind him. My mother's face as she scolded my dad. Everything rushed in without order, and revolted my voices into a frenzy, and mad argument till all became quiet.

About time you came back.

"Yeah," I said as I stood up with tears down my eyes. Walking over, I gave a moment of peace for Marina Hall, then bend over and pulled out the knife. It was butter on her skin, and the sound gave me a chill while I flicked the extra blood off. Struggling to contain my senses, I shut my eyes to keep my tears from falling. "I am done crying, please. I just want to go home."

And now I knew where exactly home was, and it wasn't with Lance.

I went to retrieve my coat, pulled it over my shoulders then tucked the knife into a pocket. What I was going to do with it was beyond me at the moment, but it offered me protection. I remembered that was what I had wanted it for in the first place. Not to kill, or hurt anyone, just to protect myself.

I did kill a wolf, though. I tell myself while shaking my head. No, that was different. Right?

A picture of Lance glaring his fangs at me made me ball up my fists. "No, I won't kill him."

No matter what he had done to me, I couldn't see myself ending his life. Though now that my wits were, eh, semi-restored, I knew I didn't stand a chance against him. He wouldn't let me go. He couldn't see his days without me. While my forgotten memories faught with my fresh ones, I tried to create some sort of control.

I cannot love him. It wasn't love that bound me to him, it was something he had forced inside my head, and I so willingly gave into. The taste of his broth made me spit; I had been stupid enough to eat it.

"He tricked me, he knew it, and he did it anyway," I silently snivel at my foolishness, but then slap myself to get back on track. Yes, now I was aware that he had created a new personality in me, and she was getting on my nerves. Her eyes would take over mine, then I could feel my skin beg for Lance's touch.

Numb yourself.

I'm trying.

Hurry or you'll catch the feels again.

God, that was funny. I congratulate myself for finding my humor again. Then,  walking over to Lance's mother, I gazed up to the bit of magic she provided in such a somber, dark barn. There was something comforting about her. Lance had confessed to me that he knew she was dead, and that this was only a way to cope with her death. He wasn't fully insane, and labeling him crazy for believing that butterflies flickered through heaven, and Earth wasn't fair. Everyone had the right to believe in the sparks of magic nature tends to share with only a few humans.

What did make him crazy was how he had the screwed head to kidnap both Marina, and me. Recalling our late night talks in his room, I remember how uneasy he felt as I had asked if he had ever felt lonely. Of course he had. That was what led to him taking Marina Hall, then messing with her all ready coiled up personality.

Then there's me.

I gasp out as I hear the door to the house slam open. He was coming.

Lance.

No. Be quiet. Don't call out for him.

Tears unravel down to my cheek while I run.

Lance.

W-where, are you kidding me? Where the fuck are my legs going!

I halt, then pout with my eyes shut. My head hurt and so did my chest as I tried to keep my cool. Who I was, and who I had become were not friends; they  flung the joystick in my mind back and forth so brutally that I collapsed on my knees.

"Blanca! Alice!" Lance shouted through the barn door. It was still locked but he managed to bust right through.

"Lance," I called out gently as he caught a glimpse of my teary eyes as I turned my neck and faced him. "Take me home."

Light spilled behind him, and his shadow kissed my knuckles before it kissed Marina's dead ones. Melodies played in my head as he walked up to me, and at his touch I melted back into a dream.