His Collection

TWENTY-THREE

Mentally I counted the times the fire twitched as it touched the top of the stone barrier. I had taken the couch seat was using it as my cuddle buddy while I sat on the floor admiring whatever day dream my thoughts were weaving. The food I had been eating the past days had stuffed me, and did help to keep me going long under the sun. I would have dizzy spells still, but they were now becoming easier to live with; Lance would always catch me.

Resting my chin on the cushion, I sighed at how badly I wanted to be outside; it was raining again, and everyone was indoors. Each of us seemed occupied with something. Marina was at best trying to find new ways of making herself even more beautiful, and Lance was above us all, doing whatever he does in his room.

Funny how well I had become accustomed to having my mind run on and on about nonsense. There would be times I'd question what I was doing, or who ask myself what were the important things I had to remember, but something clouded my past thoughts.

"I am probably turning crazy," I whispered to the fire. Don't tell them my secrets. Burn them as I let them out.

I beckoned for safety as the concern over Marina took hold of my train of thought. She wanted me dead, and I knew that no matter how much I tried to maneuver her thoughts into liking me again, she would still want to kill me.

Sighing, I admit I had gone too far, but I was so pissed off at the moment that I let it all out on her. The good news was she has avoided me the past days.

During the night I would quietly push my night stand in front of the door just in case she'd try and attack me while I slept, then remove it before Lance would notice. I did not know if I could tell him about it. What if he took her side? What if I was to be pushed out into the Bad Box?!

"No. No," my head shook wildly.

I have been a good girl. I am a good girl.

The voices were so child-like that it scared me. Who was I now? My breathed sharpened. Who...what is going on inside me?

Rising from the fire, I make my way to my room.

My room? Since when had I begun calling it that?

The vision of the floor started to fade and turn into water. Each step I took only got me closer to the bottom till my hands finally smacked down.

"Wood, it's wood, the floor, it's just the floor." Great, another one of these episode were taking place. I shut my eyes hoping it would be over soon.

As soon as I feel my strength return, I dart up. The stairs glistened and winked at me to see what surprises they held. During my time here, not once had I gone up there, up to his rooms.

What's up there? Couldn't tell if my eyes were still messing around with me, but I swear there was light coming from the top, light so white it had to be heaven.

My foot took one step upwards as I wrapped my fingers on the railing. Something in me just needed to see what was up there and find out why Lance didn't want us up there. Thoughts of it being silly gifts sprung up, but then a voice so wild, and filled with an eerie tone suggested it was another body, maybe his father's.

No, that's crazy.

Crazy? Oh, honey, you definitely are forgetting who you're with.

...and who you're turning into.

Look, are the clouds clearing up?!

I am not crazy.

Getting there.

In the middle of such an important argument, Marina walks into the hall and stops once she sees where my foot was.

"You can't go up there!" She marched over, and pushed me back a couple feet. Sure I could have punched the dead brain cells right out that pretty, little head, but something in my head kept repeating how badly I wanted to remain a good girl.

Rubbing my arm, I kept my eyes to the stairs. "I just want to know what is up there...what is it, Marina?"

Again she pushed me. "I am Alice. Lance says Alice, I am Alice." Her hands shake to my whispers of how she couldn't control her anger. Stepping back, she walks away saying she doesn't know either what was up there, but that it was only for Lance to know.

It shouldn't have bothered me, but to know that not even Marina knew, it made the secret too good for the taking.

You could just ask Lance. If he lies, you would be able to tell.

Look it stopped raining! Yes!

Shut up. Look, just go ask him.

Call out for him. Have him come down. He'll come to you if you wish it.

He'll come.

Let's go outside. Let's see how the garden looks. What if it's all torn up by the heavy rain?!

"No, I-I should sleep..." I answer back to whomever was talking to me. I walk back to my room, and slowly crawl over the sheet till my head rests on the pillows. When I sleep, the voices would go away.

"So just go away," I muttered as my lids sealed themselves away from the blurry walls. At the glance of the door, I saw someone standing there. Not bothering to get up or focus, I just stare back. My mind was playing tricks on me so often that nothing seemed to scare me anymore.

The person walked towards me without a sound, and as it neared, I could see it was a guy. Tall, lean, and smelled of endless summer memories. His face was like a painting that someone had smudged before it had dried.

"I know you." My lips were half pressed on the pillow as my eyes wavered. Lazily I rubbed my face into the blanket. "I think I do."

He touched my face and I didn't fight it. I wanted a soft touch, I needed it. The guy reminded me of something important but I could not for the life of me remember what it was.

As his face got closer, a blue eye slid open through the fogginess.

"Blue...I remember your blue eyes."

His smile started to become clearer.

"And when you smiled, I remember that, too."

Now all I wanted was to hear his voice. It never came. Once he had kissed me, I knew who it was. It was the same kiss, same sensations and feelings from when I was floating high in the afternoon skies. Up and away in the water tower.

I took my hands over his neck, kissed him again, then smiled. It was delicious, and my body remembered the scent of wild summers spent with this individual.

Oh, I knew it was you.

"Kyle," my eyes were barely open as tears ran down to my chin. "I had forgotten you..."

I'm sorry.