Before Anyone Else

16. Doctor Says What?

So I was basically shivering in the car I was so nervous. I can't believe I was going to do this. She's never heard me sing before. There was no way she'd find out now.

Suicidal. I had a feeling but I didn't want to bring it up. Besides if she wants to talk about it. We'll talk but not right now.

"How did you get the car anyway? You're always with that BMX of yours," she said looking at me.

I looked at her, smiled and shook my head. "My knee is still pretty fucked up so mum said I could drive it. Just have to try and not get caught by the cops. I'm only 17."

"Wow, your mum is crazy. My parents can't even let me try and drive their car without either of them being there...which reminds me. What happened to your knee if you weren't playing ball with Mark?"

I looked at her again and looked back at the road again. I opened my mouth but no words came out, I ended up smiling.

"Okay. I went to Natalie's house because she wanted to hook up but I didn't want to. So I left and her parents were coming into the driveway so I jumped into the thorn bush, which is ironically identical to ours," I took a deep breath and looked back at her.

I wanted to mention about how Alex basically picked me off the ground and dropped me, but I dampened the mood once today already. I don't want to make a habit of it.

"You didn't want to hook up with her. That's new. I would have totally done it."

I laughed a bit before I realized what she said. "Wait what?!" I laughed some more in my disbelief.

"Now Amber, there comes a time in every girl's life when she thinks she's a lesbian. You know that's totally okay with me as long as you don't date anyone within my immediate family or any of my exes," I smiled even wider.

"And why not?" She asked teasing me again.

I can't tell her now. She needs to be ready to hear it. I don't want to break her with my burdens.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready," I bit my lower lip. It sounded so sad and dreary.

Amber began to sing along to a song on the radio. I can't even recall what it was.

"I never knew that you had such a great voice," I complimented.

"I thought you knew. You don't remember last year when I sang for everyone. You were in the forefront of disbelief,"

"Well then. I don't remember. All I know is that you're not that into music. In fact, you said you hate it," I accused her.

She laughed. "Well things have changed and I've grown a fondness for all types of music actually."

Hmmm. I wonder how that happened?

"How's Alex?"

It was rather strange of him to pop up like he didn't have regular school to go for. He was here for like 2 weeks.

She hesitated.

There's something she's not telling me.

This silence was getting too awkward for my liking.

Where is he?

"Um, he's fine," she said finally.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Well you're not ready," she smirked.

"Touché," I smiled.

I hate it when she leaves me in anxiety. It doesn't make sense. But that's her and me. It's us.