Ash x Gary (Palletshipping)

The Kecleon Salon

j --For you, Galloran23

Me: *Trying to update It Reminds Me of Cheetos*

Wattpad: *Denies me repeatedly*

Me: *Gets frustrated and then has an outburst* "It reminds me of DICK!" *Angry hyperventilates while hitting keyboard*

You: "That's a fair description: it is a boy x boy story."

Me: *Looks at you with the eyes of a college student pushed too far during finals week*

You: "..."

Me: *Goes back to screaming at laptop- BUT KEEPS AN EYE ON YOU* "It reminds me of shiny Azurills! It reminds me of Pokérus!" *Has been trying to breed a damn shiny Azurill; eventually gave up and picked best, existing, non-shiny baby; trained baby up; nicknamed it Azure as some sort of testament to Wally x Brendan at least; at some point, notices a pink smiley face in Azure's summary; gets kind of pissed off because she doesn't like pink smiley face or know what the hell it means; looks up smiley face on Internet; discovers that pink smiley face means Azure developed Pokérus and it was cured; checks rest of team and they all have pink smiley faces; gets mega pissed off because ISN'T POKÉRUS RARER THAN A SHINY AZURILL?!* "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN BREEDING FOR THAT AZURILL?! AND I GET POKÉRUS?!" *Gets an idea; grabs a statistics book; stares at it until it spontaneously combusts* "RIDDLE ME THE ODDS OF THAT, STATISTICS! AND WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?!" *Sniffs herself* "Dear God, the rot from finals week has set in. My days are numbered." *Sniffs self again* "Okay, I really need a shower." *Strips nude—you know the drill; finds chocolate smeared over right nipple; asks self what the hell* "Do I know how to keep my food in my mouth? Apparently not. No, my food goes down my shirt and winds up smeared over my nipple."

You: "Please stop telling me this."

Me: "EXCUSE ME?! WHO ARE YOU?! I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU COMMENT OR VOTE BEFORE!"

Austin: "Yeah! Screw off!"

Me: "Umm, he's from It Reminds Me of Cheetos and I have an update where he...uh...does address you, the audience, and it's...uh...combative."

The you that reads that story: *Probably owed an apology*

Brayden: "Did you say chocolate?"

Me: "STAY AWAY FROM MY NIPPLE! IT'S CLEAN NOW ANYWAYS!"

Teagan: "We've had the discussion about Steelix and your face, yes?"

Me: "Oh, are you talking to you?"

Owen: "She does not pay us enough to do these jobs."

Teagan: "I'm not getting paid anything because then that would constitute 'child labor.'"

You: "STORY?! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE READING A STORY!"

Me: *Devastated eye sparkles* "...I just wanted to talk to you..."

You: "You were yelling at me five seconds ago!"

Me: "You were yelling at me?" *Feigns confusion*

You: "I-I can't. I'm gone."

Me: "There's a smut update for Cheetos whenever Wattpad lets me do it."

You: *Goes and reads that instead because I don't bother you with this shit on that story...and because you heard it had smut*

Smut: *The word magically begins to sparkle and lures you in*

Me: "Ah, smut, how fond I am of you...Okay, last thing: shakhalia asked that I tell you all about her story, What Is Love Worth, and I thought it was good. However, for those of you who only have one thing on the mind: no, it's not yaoi."