The Merrynether Cryptofiles

The Fearsome Festolarg

Specimen number: 0014 – The Festolarg (Magna Eructant)

Provisional taxonomical classification: Animalia/Anelidia

Date of classification: 30th March 1961

Discovered by: Dr. Victor Flesche

 Submitted by: Veronica Merrynether

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I apologize for breaking off in the middle of my account about the ningers in my previous entry. I was called away urgently to deal with a dispute at the campsite, and had to leave you at the edge of a chasm with a truly terrifying beast about to emerge. You will note that this is the first creature discovered by someone other than Dr. Leonard Bortrose! Technically this is not true; it was Leonard who gawped over the edge to see it first, but the monster that crawled out of the abyss was so frightening, I want Victor to get the blame for this one—especially as it was his fault the thing came after us anyway.

Though the cavern had no natural light, and the emerging creature was the same deep brown as the rocky walls that surrounded us, the ningers’ bright light enabled us to see our pursuer very clearly. Twice the size of an elephant, the creature heaved itself up from the chasm’s edge with hooked claws the size of bulldozer scoops. These were its only limbs, but it was more than capable of swift movement. It dragged the rest of its lengthy crocodile-like body over the edge, and stamped toward us, roaring—or rather burping ferociously at us—from a disproportionally sized maw that looked like a gigantic red sink hole ringed with fangs.

Our octomox guide fled the scene, garbling about the dreaded 'festolarg' that was coming to get us, and I can tell you, we all stopped laughing at that point. Not only had the octomox translation saliva dried up, but the festolarg was a creature built for one obvious purpose: eating and—it seems—burping. Very, very loudly. There was nothing funny about the rancid smell that swamped us when the thing belched the contents of its vast stomach into the air. Coupled with the grating sound that came from its grinding, revolving fangs, the noise was more than enough to send us running for our lives.

Even as the three of us scrambled back the way we came, chased by angry ningers that were guiding the festolarg after us, I couldn’t help crane my head around to watch the monster as I ran (or perhaps it was because I preferred the festolarg’s ugly visage to Victor’s bum, which was about to be infront of me again as we entered the tunnel). It seemed that one mouth wasn’t enough for the festolarg. Several more smaller mouths surrounded the central one, and bursting like tiny red polyps around the edge of those, dozens of eyes glared hungrily at us.

 We narrowly escaped the cavern, and I was very relieved to arrive back at our camp, but also bitterly disappointed we had managed to offend three species so soon after being dumped on this new island. And not only that, but we did not get to meet the Zerkulix. I hold our junior veterinary surgeon, Victor Flesche, totally responsible for this episode. Why he decided to act that way in the cavern is beyond me, but I will get to the bottom of it. I will not let something like this happen again.