Chapter TwentyThree - The Day I Survived

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While the nurse was checking my vitals, blood pressure and other things nurses do, Gabriel slipped out and I know it was because he was letting the others know I was awake.

When he came back in, he sat back down on his chair and simply held my hand. The nurse said that the pain meds I was on will make me sleepy so when my eyes drop close, I don't even try to open them. The last thing I remember was Gabriel giving the back of my hand a kiss and telling me he loves me.

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I blink my eyes open, the pounding in the side of my head a terrible ache. Looking around the room I see that my boys are all over the place.

Nathan and Gabriel are top and tailing on another hospital bed. Kota and Victor are slumped back in chairs and North sits on the floor, his head back against the wall. Sean and Silas are on the sofa the I didn't even realise was in the room before hand. I smile when I see Luke curled up against my left side, his fingers linked with mine. On my right side, I find Owen sitting in the chair with his head on the bed under his folded arms, his face turned towards me.

They're all sleeping and it takes a moment for it to register that I had been to sleep and hadn't awoken because of a nightmare. I know it's because they're here, close and safe.

But what will happen if I did have one? Especially if I go home. I could scare the girls because I've been told by my brothers that my screams are full of pure fear. I don't want to the scare them and it holds me back about going back home where I'm supposed to be.

It's not just that. I'm damaged, in so many ways. I've had an addiction also. The last thing I want is for the girls witness me having a breakdown like I did, and I certainly don't want the boys to see it again. I'm a mess and I need to sort myself out. Before I see the girls.

I have options.

And I already know that I need to do this myself, without my boys. Sure I would want there support, holding my hand when I need it, but they haven't seen the things I have, been through the things I have. I've already tainted them with some of it, but not all of it. I don't want to taint them with anymore of the darkness I have lived in.

I need help, real help. Away from Charleston and away from my boys. The thought of leaving them again hurts but this time, I know I'll be back. I need to get myself under control. I need to forgive myself for the lives I've taken, the deeds I have done. Maybe telling someone who don't know nothing about me or my life will help.

Decision made, I turn my eyes to Owen. His breaths are regular and even. He's so perfect he doesn't even snore. I lift my hand that lays by his head and run it through is already mused hair. His arm moves from beneath his head and finds my arm, slowly stroking his fingers down my flesh until his fingers can link with mine. I hold his hand as tight as I can and he brings our joined hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to my thumb. "I'm so glad your okay." He whispers, opening his eyes and looking at me. "You shouldn't have pushed me out the way."

I heave in a breath, wincing at the pain in my chest. I lick my lips and swallow before speaking. "If I hadn't then it would be you in this bed and I couldn't allow that. I had to protect you, even if it meant taking a bullet or two."

He sits up and shuffles his chair close to me. His grey eyes stay locked on mine as he says, "I've been in contact with Volto."

My eyes widen. "What? Why?"

"Because I couldn't find your father and I needed to know the real reason you had to become Storms 'property'." Owen literally raised his fingers and made air quotes. It amused me.

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