Chase You

07; the epitome of a golden family

Of course, we didn't stop them decorating the house. Casey did all of that with dad's help at the beginning of December, hence why there was mistletoe hanging in the kitchen.

My door was locked, my curtains had been drawn since last night and the only light source was coming from lamp on my dresser and the tiny screen camera in my hands. There were photos on here from the last Christmas we had with mum; I don't think dad could bring himself to print these photos off the camera, not when mum left right after New Years.

The rest of the pictures from all the other Christmases were in a photo album that I had with me on my bed. Dad stashed it away in his office but I ended up finding it anyway.

I went through the pictures, knowing they are killing me to look at them, but I just couldn't tear my eyes away.

There was a picture of mum teaching me how to play Silent Night on the piano. After a lot of difficulty, I mastered it and mum would sing along with that beautiful voice of hers and dad would just keep snapping pictures.

I still remember which chords to use, I still remember each and every word. I don't want to remember it, I hate thinking about it. I hate not being able to spend Christmas the same way I used to, I hate the fact that Karen and Casey can be so happy and carefree because I knew I couldn't ever match their mood. Not now, not ever.

I put the camera down and grabbed the first hefty family album that was by my side and flipped to the first page.

My eyes landed upon a page full of photos from Christmas in 2007. I was twelve years old. A little version of myself and my cousins were sitting around the ginormous Christmas tree at my grandparent's house. There were around three dozen presents under it. I remember that, it was a brilliant memory because we wouldn't all get together every year so instead, I'd be at home, unwrapping my presents alone. Well, until two years ago, because Casey was here with me so I no longer had to do it alone.

Dad wanted to go up to my grandparent's house again this year, because he thought it would've been nice with Karen and Casey. However, they live all the way in Portsmouth, and the weather wasn't starting to look good for the next couple weeks. The last thing we want is to be stuck in the snow on Christmas Day.

Alas, we were stuck at home once again. It would've been nice to visit my grandparents, but then I'd have to tell them about my thing and shh I have to carry a stupid container of pills everywhere and why I'm supposedly stroppy all the time; I'd rather not go into that.

"Flynn?" Karen knocked on my bedroom door. "Wanna help with the Christmas cards?"

I cleared my throat and choked back more tears. "No."

"Okay." Was all she said before I heard footsteps walk away from my door and go down the staircase.

I wiped my eyes with my hand and flipped through even more pages of the vintage album. It's plush leather cover felt cold on my fingers and the plastic sheet that covered the pictures already had tear drops on it.

Quickly wiping them away, I finished looking at the photo album and picked up the other chunky album. This one was newer, and flipping over to the next page, I saw that it was the Christmases when I was fourteen and fifteen years old.

This picture was of dad and I, and he was dragging my sled across the snow. Zach was in another sled next to mine and his was being pulled by Liam. Mum must've been behind the camera at the time because she wasn't in this picture and I definitely remember her being there at the time.