Note To Self (Harry Styles AU)

Chapter Nineteen.

Harry woke early the next morning just as the sun was beginning to peak in the sky, drenched in sweat and panting heavily. He pushed his face into the pillows and let out a long, frustrated groan into them, clutching desperately to the sheets and tugging.

The prior day's events of feeling frustrated and pent up wound up carrying over into his slumber, resulting in a heated dream that had him practically whimpering into his bedding. He shut his eyes and exhaled heavily in attempt to quickly fall back to sleep to continue the dream, but it was too late. He was already wide awake, hopelessly aroused and disappointed that he didn't get to finish his dream.

Sex dreams were common for him, all of them rather similar in nature, yet different at the same time. They were hazy and unclear, he never got a chance to see who the other person was or really ever get to feel what was happening. He just experienced the motions. They were pretty lacking, especially since the best part was just something he couldn't feel, but they always ended in one of two ways. He'd either wake up suddenly with a pillow wedged between his legs, or he'd wake up in the morning with a wet spot in his pants. Both were irritating, but at least one was somewhat satisfying and relieved him to some degree.

He wasn't so lucky that morning. He flipped over onto his back and sighed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The memory of his dream was already rapidly disappearing, getting more and more foggy the more he tried to remember. Though the thoughts of his subconscious mind dissipated faster than he could collect and evaluate them, the sexual frustration they brought with them lingered. He hated waking up horny.

It was nearing the time he normally would've had to wake up for school anyway, so he decided to get up for a shower a little earlier than he usually did. He turned the water on and stripped down before stepping underneath the cold stream of water, hoping the temperature would help calm him down. It gave him a chill.

He was incredibly pent up and he knew without a doubt his dream was a sign his body was in need of release, but he denied himself of it. It wasn't an easy thing to do - ignoring the throbbing ache between his legs and his own primal desires, but he'd become skillful at avoiding it. He'd push it off into the back of his mind and it would usually come back to him while he was asleep, because even if he denied himself of the pleasure, his body still had anatomical functions that would happen no matter what.

That's what kept him sane. The sense of relief knowing he'd feel less desperate for it for a few days until he wound up the same way he was that morning, showering in cold water in attempt to ignore everything he was feeling. The cold water drowned away the desire, but barely. It was still there, and it would stay there until he got what he needed. He just refused to give it to himself.

He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his slim waist before he headed back to his bedroom, stepping in just in time to catch the sight of his phone screen lit up on the end table. He received another text from Aubry that read, "You sure you don't want to skip?"

"Positive," he replied.

Because he'd gotten up earlier than he normally did, he wound up ready for school sooner than usual too which granted him enough time to eat breakfast, something he hardly ever got a chance to do. That made his start to the day a little better, and he felt a bit more awake than most days when he made it to his morning classes. One of those morning classes was Anatomy, and he was rather surprised to see Aubry in her seat when he walked into the room. She smiled at him as he passed by to get to his seat.

The school day dragged on slowly, but after school he decided to hitch a ride with Liam instead of heading home on the bus. He didn't meet up with Aubry that afternoon, which was lucky because he received yet another message from her as he stepped through the front door of his house that she also wasn't going that day.