Sleeping Pill | A Stydia AU [2]

The Guy who Left

Chapter 30 | The Guy who Left

     "I killed Allison."

     She stands there frozen, shock from what I just told her. Soon after, she blinks to bring herself back to reality. I watch her walk slowly to her desk to occupy herself and avoid eye contact with me. She carries her books and packs them in the boxes on her bed. She's gonna leave me.

     "Look Stiles. This isn't funny okay. You should joke around like that." She responds, still looking down her own books.

     "I'm sorry. I just... Lydia, can you look at me?." She looks at me with tired eyes. My face filled with enervation, and she lets out a sigh.

     "What do you want Stiles? You have my full and utter attention."

     I look at her for a long time, because this could be the last time I will ever see her in person. I admire her small features, and all the little things she does. Now, I'm going to ruin everything I have left of her. I can't tell her what happened, because I could already see the pain she felt when she visited Allison. Reluctantly, I say those three poisonous words.

     "I killed Allison. That time when we were at the hotel, I had that nightmare. It was the day I witnessed her death. Then, when I woke up, I saw your face and every memory from that nightmare went away. And I've been having those nightmares ever since I witnessed that day. And it's been getting worst. It's gotten to the fact that I was prescribed to take sleeping pills every night. Trust me, I didn't mean to—"

     "How?" She didn't want to waste any time. I just want to hug her, and wrap her around my arms forever so she never leaves me. I want to slow down, because I know when the day ends, she'll leave.

     I stare at her, trying to hold back the pain as I relive the event. I close my eyes because I don't want to see her reaction as I tell her what happened.

"It was March 17 and I went to a party down near the Beacon Hills High School. I don't remember what happened to the party. All I remember was drinking and dancing in this glow in the dark party. Scott saw me and how wasted I was and said that we need to get back home. Scott didn't drink at all. The only reason he came was because he felt like I gonna do something stupid." Lydia rolls her eyes and clenches her jaws. Although, even seeing her unpleasant reaction, I continue.

     "I don't know what happened to Scott. He just disappeared and I needed to use the restroom, but it was occupied. So I decided to go outside and you know. I don't know what came over me to make such a stupid idea. I just thought I could walk back home. As I walk back home, apparently I was just walking." I look back down while she stands still. Her eyes moving slowing from side to side as her tries to comprehend what's happening. She begins to get goosebumps, and I go back to my story. The hardest part of the story. My heart begins to pace faster, and it gets harder and harder to swallow.

     "Then, a sudden dim of light hits my skin, and I turn around to see where it came from. I see a girl, with a glimmer beneath her eyes from what I'm assuming to be wiped away tears."

     Lydia walks pass me and lens on the edge of her window, like it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

     "Once she saw me," I pause because holding the tears is overwhelming me. "She turned a hard left to avoid any contact with me. And I saw everything. Her car slams into the street pole and the car was completely wreaked. Seconds later the air bag comes out but it was too late. I run up to her, because I wanted some reassurance that I didn't just risk someone's life because of my stupidity."

     Lydia paces back and forth, biting her nails. Slowly, she stops and look straight at me in anger. "What else?"

     "I... I open the door and unbuckle her to check her pulse. I felt it. I felt it beating. And for a second I was relieved. I knew I couldn't take her to the hospital drunk, so I search for my phone but it wasn't with me. I went in the car and search for her phone. It was laying on the floor of the passenger sit. I thought she had a password, but I still tried sliding it. She didn't have a password," Lydia holds her breath, with watering eyes. She lays her hands on her face, and brings it back to her hair as she holds it away from her face.

"The first thing I saw on her phone was a text. Your text. And she was in a mid- sentence." My cheat was was pounding faster and faster each second. And it felt like I was being crushed by a million anchors. "I went to the keypad and dialed 911. I tell them that there was a car crash. Then I heard, '911 speaking, what is your emergency?' My mouth opened but words couldn't come out. It was like something was preventing me to say anything. And my heart was racing. I tried so hard to speak, but I just couldn't.

"They repeated their question, and I finally said 'There's a car crash.'
'I'm sorry sir, I can't quite hear that.'
'There's a car crash down near the Beacon Hills park. It's in Pine Avenue.'
'Thank you, sir. Help is on the way.''

"I tried keeping her awake. I tried so hard for her to be conscious. Then, I heard the sirens and I quickly run into the bushes to hide myself. They quickly took Allison, lay her into that portable bed, and rolled her into the ambulance. The police surrounded the car and scattered around the area. And I... I ran for dear life. I ran to the hospital, and when I got there, I saw the doctor with Allison's phone. He said that Allison didn't make it. And I turned cold. I waited silently, sitting on the chair, trying to blink away the tears. Then, I saw you." Lydia falls back and sits against the wall. As I watch her, it seems like it gets harder and harder for her to breathe. She grasps into her shirt, and looks away from me. The pain of watching her suffer again because of me, makes it unbearable to continue.

     "I see you. Scanning the room, rushing to be with Allison. You ran towards the door that led to Allison's surgery room, but the doctor stopped you. You pounded his chest, demanding to see Allison with your eyes pouring down so much tears. I saw you, and for a split second, your eyes met mine."