Vic’s POV
“I started cutting again.” I blurted the words out, knowing that if I didn’t tell her now, I never would. Lia didn’t say a word, just stood up and walked out. I figured that would be the last time I’d ever see her.
I couldn’t lie to her any longer, she deserved to know. As painful as it was, if she wanted to leave, I would let her go. She deserved more than me.
I sat on the couch in the deafening silence, staring straight ahead for I don’t know how long. I felt so numb that I almost felt inhuman, as if I wasn’t even alive.
I knew what would fix that numbness though- my razor.
I stood quietly, making my way past the sleeping bodies of my friends to the only downstairs bathroom. I shut the door, pulling my trusty blade out of my back pocket. I sat on the toilet lid, removing the razor from its little sleeve. Pushing up my shirt, I decided to try a new place- the bottom part of my stomach. As I began to press the blade down, the door to the bathroom opened. Lia stood there, locking eyes with me. “Vic ?” She whispered, horrified. I dropped the razor in shame, unable to say anything.
She bent down and picked up the razor, looking at it almost curiously. She placed it over her wrist, watching me carefully. She moved it closer and I gasped. “Lia !” Lia looked at me seriously, “For every slash you make, I’ll do one too.” I opened my mouth to say something, but how could I argue with that ? The message was clear- by hurting myself I was hurting the people I loved. I snatched the razor from her hand and tossed it in the trash, standing up and pulling her out of the bathroom. I grabbed a blanket and Lia’s hand, tugging her up the stairs. “Where are we going ?” She whispered frantically. “We never got that camp out under the stars.”
I led her to our spot in the field where I’d first seen her, spreading the blanket out and settling on it. My gaze went up to the stars, each one glowing independently beautiful, yet still contributing to the prettiness of the entire night sky. Lia cuddled up next to me, sighing. She traced the lines on my bare arms, murmuring “I’m sorry.” Before I could ask what for, she choked back a sudden sob, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Vic.” I sat up, pulling her to me, letting her cry into my chest. “For what babe ?” I rubbed slow circles on her back, trying to calm her down. Her sobs wracked her fragile body, and vibrated mine. “For not being there for you.” I could tell in her voice that she was blaming herself for my whole situation, and that was not okay. I held her at arms length, brushing her tears away lightly. “Listen to me. This is in no way your fault, this is my own fucked up fault. I’m the one who can’t stop hurting myself because I need to feel the pain. Because I deserve it.” “Vic, that’s not true. It’s an addiction, and it’s not your fault other people make you feel shitty enough to do that to yourself. But you’re going to stop for good. For me.” And when she said “for me” I knew that I wouldn’t ever deliberately hurt myself again.
Lia’s POV
I can’t believe my crazy idea had worked. In the heat of the moment, I took a chance and made Vic a promise that if he hurt himself, I would hurt myself too. And blissfully, it worked. It was a hard night to get through for both of us, but we made it. Now here we were, a couple weeks later, on Thanksgiving break. My family insisted that the holiday be strictly a family affair, so Vic and I were spending it apart. That didn’t mean we were spending the whole night apart though…
After dinner, I excused myself to my room and unlocked the window for Vic later. I then journeyed into the living room for “family togetherness time.” It was a decent night, but I was itching to get to my room and see the one I really wanted to be with.
At ten o’clock, I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I said goodnight and went to my room. I locked the door carefully, and turned around, then jumped back. Vic was already in my room, sprawled out casually on my bed, smirking at me. He crooked his finger in a “come here” way, and I walked slowly over to the bed, then around it, taunting him.
He stood up and sauntered over to me, grabbing me under the chin and kissing me hard. I wrapped my arms around him, and he lifted my legs up and hooked them around his waist. He moved until my back was against a wall and then placed his hands on either side of me, bracing himself. My legs tightened their grip, and he moved his lips down my neck, with me working hard to contain my moan so my parents wouldn’t hear. Vic started walking again, placing his hands under my thighs so I wouldn’t fall. He walked backwards and collapsed on his back on my bed. I straddled his hips, quickly pulling my shirt over my head. His eyes widened, then he grinned.
He flipped me until I was laying underneath him, and he began to kiss up and down my stomach. I tugged at his hair, and he raised his head questioningly. I pulled him back to my mouth, kissing him with fire burning inside me. He deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth with ease. Vic grinded his hips against mine gently, causing me to moan his name. He smiled against my lips, and then-
The door opened.
Vic flew off of me, and I sat bolt upright, gasping out loud. The door closed and the light flicked on. It was my mom.
She stood there for a moment, taking in the scene before her. I hurriedly covered my chest with a blanket, blushing bright red. Vic looked ready to die and sink into the ground. My mom walked calmly over to him, “Your family is gonna notice your gone eventually, you know that Vic ?” He nodded wordlessly, his mouth hanging open. She placed a hand on his shoulder, “Lighten up, I’m not going to tell anyone.” Vic visibly relaxed, “Thank you so much Mrs. Chancellor, I-” She cut him off, “It’s fine Vic, don’t worry. We’ll talk about this another time, just get on home now before Lia’s dad finds us.” Vic awkwardly made his way to the window, climbing out swiftly with a quick goodnight. As soon as he left, my mom and I exchanged glances. We both burst out laughing.
“You…should’ve seen your face !” My mom giggled, gasping. “Oh my God mom ! You gave us a heart attack ! I thought you were dad !” I slipped my shirt back on, shaking my head. She looked at me, “You’re lucky it wasn’t. Be more careful next time, sweetie. And use protection.” “Mom !” She looked at me innocently, “What ?” “We haven’t, um, done that….” I confided in her. She sat cross-legged on the bed, across from me, mirroring my position. We almost looked like two sisters, gossiping about boys. “That’s good to know. You never really tell me about things anymore….” I felt bad instantly, but she was right. We had been so close back in Ohio, but now that I had friends, I had been neglecting her. I apologized for that, and told her more about Vic and the guys. She knew a lot about Vic because he was constantly over, but not my other friends.
We talked until almost midnight, and then broke up the little party. I hugged my mom tightly, “Thanks for being so cool about this.” She kissed my forehead, “No problem sweetie, I was a teenager once too. I remember.” She looked at me with nostalgia in her eyes, then said, “Just don’t let your father catch you, or poor Vic is a goner. Goodnight Lia.”
“Goodnight Mom.”
“Love never fails.”
