Lia’s POV
“Boo !” Jack jumped up from the tall weeds, scaring Vic and I. We both screamed, then Vic took off running after him, threatening to beat his ass. I sat in the same spot, waiting for Vic to return. By the time he did, it was almost my midnight curfew. He walked me straight to my house in silence. I couldn’t stop thinking about the time we’d spent together, and I hoped that maybe someday we could be more than friends. We hugged for the first time as he dropped me at my porch, and I blew him a kiss goodbye. I’ll never know if he saw it in the darkness though.
Vic had put his number into my phone the night before, and when I woke up, there was a text from him. “You okay ? I didn’t party you too hard last night, did I ?” I laughed, then responded with “You wish.” After ten more minutes of playful banter, I finally got out of bed. I padded into the kitchen, expecting to find my parents with their morning coffee. Instead, there was a note and a twenty dollar bill. Scrawled in my father’s messy handwriting “Going décor shopping, be gone all day. Here’s money for food, love you darling.” So basically, I was all alone on a Saturday in a brand new town. I was still texting Vic, I could always see what he had going on, but I was too nervous. What if he said no, or gave me some lame lie ? Then again, he was the one who had texted me…but my anxiety was kicking in, preventing me from reaching a solid decision. I hopped in the shower and tried to scrub the bad thoughts away, and for the most part, it worked.
I blinked, drawing in a sharp breath. What the fuck ? Why am I on the floor ? I struggled to sit up, rubbing my aching head. I realized that I must have had a black out episode. I had no idea how long I’d been out, but now my hair was dry whereas last I remember, it was still damp from the shower. It looked as though I had hit my head on the edge of the island counter on the way down as well. Perfect.
On top of all that, someone was incessantly banging on the front door. “Hold on !” I yelled, and the banging ceased. I heard laughing as I struggled to stand, my head throbbing and my head full of worry. Could I have a concussion or something ? And what the hell time was it ? I shuffled to the door, rubbing my head. When I opened it, I revealed Vic, Alex, and Jack. “Uh, hey guys.” Vic spoke up, “You didn’t reply to my texts. It isn’t that easy to ignore me when I live right near you.” His tone was light and joking, but his eyes were serious. “Uh, yeah..I uh…what time is it ?” He looked confused, but gave me the time, “11:30 AM….why ?” I thought back, that meant that I had been out for about half an hour. I shook my head, opening the door wider for them to come in. They all scrambled through the house, settling on the bar stools around the island. I walked slowly behind them, feeling lightheaded and unsure of what to do. This was the first time I’d blacked out without someone around, so I had no idea what had gone down… I tried to keep calm and act normal as the guys went on some rant about wanting to hang out today since there was nothing else to do. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to take offense to that or not, but I just went with it.
Twenty minutes later and I was feeling really good, walking around the city with my new friends. Well, they were walking, Vic was piggybacking me again. It was an unusually warm September day, and the sun was high. I felt a little more confident that Vic wanted to spend time with me, so I was really going with the flow. So far he was the only guy that could actually break down my walls. Things with him felt easy, and they didn’t give me anxiety attacks every five seconds. I just let it be, and that seemed to be enough for him.
I needed to keep things this way though; I could never let him know I was sick. If I was going to stay on the right track and pretend to be fine, then I was going full force. I didn’t want to mess this up, this time was different. Now I understood those teenage romance book cliché’s when they talk about things being different. They didn’t do a great job of explaining the actual feeling of “different” but now I got it. They didn’t mean butterflies and first kisses and oh this guy is cute. They meant that you would do anything for this person, even if you’d just met. They meant that you would hide parts of yourself to be better for them, or sacrifice yourself just to be near them. That you would try and tell yourself that this feeling was all in your head, that you were a stupid teenager and it was just hormones. They don’t tell you that you can’t stop the feelings you’re having, even if they scare you with your intensity. Because no, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone, or how well you know someone. Because real feelings are there from the start, before you even get to know them. Like love at first sight- it makes more sense that you would be in love with someone from the beginning, before you go through everything together. Because what’s meant to be will be, no matter how much history or how much you convince yourself that now is the ‘right time’ to start loving someone. Love is love, and there’s no greater feeling.
I was freaking myself out that I had started thinking about Vic and ended up thinking about love. Was that a sign ? Did that mean something ? What I had thought was what I believed, but I felt stupid for even thinking it. How improbable that I could love Vic already….right ?
“You could learn to hate and fear the word love pretty easily in my world. It was another word for betrayal and an elegantly detailed carving knife to whittle down to bones. It’d have to be a pretty knife, something so gorgeous it was breathtaking. I imagined love was a beautiful thing even in all its ugliness.” ~ Pandora Aleykettos
