Think about you (duff mckagan)

Positive and negative

Alexandrias pov

"How long has it been?" Lila asked waiting with me as we both say in front of the test I had just taken.

"I don't know 5 minutes lets just wait 3 more."

We both sighed and looked at each other both eager to see.

Three minutes had past and I find t even wanna get up.  Lila new I wasn't gonna be the first to get up so she did. She grabbed the test and looked at me, then started to jump up and down happily.

"YOUR GONNA BE A MOM OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE IT!" She said as she held the pregnancy test out to me. All I did was look at it, and soon enough I started to cry.
"I'm not ready Li, I'm not even sure if duff wants a baby right now or ever." I said sobbing.

"It's okay Alex, no matter what I'll be here for you we all will I know it. I don't think anyone ever really is ready and that's the great part." Lila said sitting down next to me on the floor as she hugged me.

I had left Lilas apartment and went back home to go tell duff the news. Honestly the more I thought about it the more I liked the idea of it. Sure I wasnt ready to be a mother but I think everyone's like that. I'm just scared how duff will react.

I pulled into the driveway and saw beer bottles and heard loud music playing from the  inside of the house. Of course these guys were throwing a party. All I needed to do was find duff and tell him the great news.

I walked In and was greeted by axl who had Coke all over his face.  I was trying to be clean and well he just wasn't helping.

"Hey Alex! Come on!" Axl said as he held on to my arm.

"I'm fine axl, thanks"

I walked upstairs and tried to open me and duffs bedroom door but it was locked.
I started knocking over and over again until it finally opened and a bleached blonde who seemed to be everything but real opened the door.

"Can I help you?" She said as she looked at me in disgust. All I did was push through the tiny gap there was. I walked in and I couldn't even breath anymore. I couldn't believe that this was happening I just wanted to cry in a corner lock myself up and never come out ever again.

I saw an overdosed duff naked in our bed.
I started to tear up realizing I never thought I'd end up here.
That fake ass girl grabbed her underwear wrote her number on it and left it on the nightstand.  As heartbroken as I was, I was also pissed. I grabbed that girls trashy underwear ran up to her pulled her hair and shunned them down her mouth. She quickly pulled them out and looked at me as if I was crazy which in this case I was.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" She said as the whole crowd of people looked our way.

"GET OUT YOU WHORE!, OR ELSE ILL SHUB SOMETHING ELSE DOWN YOUR THROAT!" I said as I slapped her across the face and pushed her away from me. I walked away and into my bedroom slamming the door behind me.  I slid down onto the floor looking around as my eyes fell onto duff. 
Oh my god. I went to the restroom and ran a bath for him.  After it filled up I dragged his naked lifeless body into the tub. I sat him up laying his head on the towel I later there for him. 

"Why are you helping him?" I turned around startled. I saw slash leaning against the bathroom doorway.

"Because I love him." I said as I started to wash his face.

"Even after what he did?"

"And what do you know about that huh?" I said starting to get teary eyed.

"I know he cheated on you about 30 minutes ago and Alex, I think you deserve better." Slash said putting his hand on mine giving it a tight squeeze.

"I'm pregnant slash, I don't what I'm gonna do." I said letting the tears I held back finally fall.

"What, your pregnant? Is duff the father?"

"Well duh, I'm not a whore." I said looking at him with disbelief.

"It's okay Alex in here for you we all are, no matter what. If your with duff or if your not we are still gonna stand by you okay?" Slash said getting up and giving me a small peck on my forehead before leaving.

Duff had regained his consciousness. He looked around the room and his eyes landed on mine. He smiled and tried to hold my hand but I pulled back.  I could see the hurt in his eyes but if only he could see the hurt in my heart. I got up and got him a towel waiting for him to get up so I can help back into bed.

"Come on duff." I said not looking him in the eye. He slowly got up as I wrapped him in the towel and helped him into a change of clothes and then into bed.

"I'll go get you some water." I said as I tucked him into bed. I went downstairs to the kitchen and of course bumped into slash.

"Did he wake up?"

"Yea"

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"I just don't know if I can, I don't know if I can do any of this." I said as started to tear up pouring water in the glass.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't pretend that me and him are fine cause we're not, he doesn't even remember sleeping with that girl and I do. I bet he wouldn't even remember me telling him he's gonna be a father either." I said as I started walking back upstairs.

I put the glass on his nightstand quietly as he fell asleep.  I quietly grabbed a few bags and started filling them up with clothes and other things I would've needed. Before I left I wrote duff a note explaining why I left. I had my bags by the front door and said goodbye to each of the guys. They were all sad I was leaving they all begged me to stay but they also understood why I had to leave.

"We're all still best friends right?" Steven asked.

"Of course we all are." I said hugging all of them in a group hug.

"I'll come by tomorrow and check on him and of course my besties I said as I laughed and cried.

I was gonna miss them just like I was gonna miss him.