Words (Muke)

Nineteen: Seclusion

The blonde had to strain to hear him and he fell to his knees in front of Michael, only inches between them.

"You'll never hurt me, Mikey. Not more than this will. And if you do somehow, then I won't mind. Not at all, because it's you baby. I'm all yours. I will bend to your wishes, whatever you want me to do. But not this, never, ever this,"

"Don't say that Luke,"

"Forever, ever right?"

Michael felt himself give up. He knew it wasn't working, but at least he tried and number three was crossed off the list. He was done what he wanted to do. "Forever, ever," he confirmed.

Luke smiled a wide watery smile and half laugh-half sobbed. And then he was kissing Michael and in the space of a heartbeat, Michael was kissing Luke back. Michael poured everything he had into the kiss he gave Luke absolutely everything and found himself left with nothing, but that was alright with Michael because he knew Luke would take care of his heart. And Michael had thrown it over without hesitation.

"I love you," Michael told Luke pulling back from the kiss. "I really do and I'm sorry I haven't said it lately. I was trying to make this easier,"

"It's alright. As long as this isn't actually happening. We're still together right?"

Michael wanted to say no. He wanted to be strong enough to do that for Luke, because he knew that if he didn't the blonde would end up even more hurt than before. Michael was trying to minimize the amount of people he hurt, but he failed. Luke wasn't going anywhere and he realized that shutting out the others might only be intensifying the pain. It clicked slowly. He was extending their pain by shutting them out. He had looked for solitude thinking it was his friend, thinking it would help lessen the pain of the others. But he had been wrong. And he realized that now.

"Yeah. I should probably talk to the other too, right?"

Luke smiled softly and nodded.

"Do you want me to call them over?"

Michael shook his head no. "I'll talk to them at school tomorrow. Let's work on the English essays tonight. I haven't even started mine yet,"

Luke laughed lightly. "Yeah alright," and the two boys sat tangled together on the bed writing their essays.

Luke wrote about his hero. He wrote about a boy named Michael Clifford. He wrote about everything that the boy went through, everything he continues to go through. He writes about how strong he is and how in love he is with him. He writes about how he's still here even though everything is trying to take him out of the world and it strikes him just how true it is.

The odds never seemed to be in their favour. Everything was trying to rip them apart. Trying to destroy what they had. Michael's depression and mental illness. Michael's parents. The car crash. The almost break-up. The school bullies. Even Michael himself with his suicidal mind. Everything was against them trying to tear them apart. Yet somehow they persevered. They got through it all together and both doubted they could have done it alone. They balanced each other out. The broken boy and the boy made of happiness. It seemed so impossible, but there they were.

While Luke wrote about his hero Michael wrote about something worse. He wrote about the dark clawed beast called depression. He wrote about the light warm aura of happiness. He wrote about the icy tendrils of hatred and the beautiful warmth of love. He wrote about the pain of sorrow and the light of joy. Michael wrote and he lost himself in the words.

They wrote with their legs tangled under the covers. Their bodies entwined as one. They wrote until Liz called them down for dinner.

Luke smiled and watched as Michael embraced Liz apologizing for his lack of affection or even recognition towards her. All three shed a few tears before they settled down on the couch to eat with Liz's favourite program playing.