Disequilibrium

Part 5: Denouement - Scene 1

He's starting to look a little irritated, but still keeps a firm grip on my elbow. "There's someone here to see you," is all he says, and when I ask who it is, he settles back into his familiar silence.

We only stop walking once we reach another room. The officer unlocks it by swiping an ID card, and we pile in. It looks like a conference room, complete with a round table and cheap plastic chairs neatly tucked. At the front of the room, sitting on the only computer chair available, is a woman in a pantsuit.

"Who's this?"

Nobody answers my question. The officer walks towards her and whispers something in her ear. She looks at me, nods, and he finally leaves, slamming the door shut behind him.

The woman crosses her legs and smiles.

"Won't you take a seat? You look like death."

"It's kind of hard making yourself presentable with a two hundred and fifty pound man breathing down your neck."

She laughs, but it isn't the kind of laugh that tells a person they appreciate the joke. It's a mocking kind of laugh—I can tell by the way the skin around her mouth crinkles in a sinister way. Like a sneer.

"You shouldn't be completely sour about it. At least you got special treatment today, yeah? A nice, semi-private shower, and look—" she slides a mug across the table. "I bribed them into getting you some coffee."

It's the coffee that makes me eagerly sit down, but I won't lie—she's a little charming. I watch her as I take humble sips from the mug, studying the way her dark eyes travel across the files spread out in front of her, and the way she bites her pen at the exact moment her eyebrows fold. One quick look down at the papers in front of her, and I realise that they're files about me.

"Are you my lawyer or something?"

She snorts, which throws me off. "Hardly. My name is Dr. Williams. I'm a psychologist."

I settle the coffee down and smile a little, tapping my fingers on the table to catch her eyes. "That's cool and all, but I don't need a doctor. I've never needed a doctor. You guys got it all wrong. And what am I doing here, anyway? Am I convicted or something?"

Dr. Williams stares at me for exactly four seconds before she matches my smile spot on, fixing her posture so she looks like a replica of me.

Well, fuck, okay.

"Is this how you did it?"

I blink, still watching her posture. "What?"

"Is this how you got him to fall for you? It doesn't take much, does it? You just got to study a person enough to see what they like, right? Hates smoking? Do it under the table. Likes poetry? Study every author they've ever mentioned. Fix yourself into a replica of the person they've always dreamed of. Well, at least that's what I'm getting from here."

By now, I can finally understand why Dad hated doctors. My smile disappears in an instant even though I'm itching for it back. She notices. Her back straightens and her grin grows wider, looking at me like I'm some fish caught in her trap.

"That's an awful lot to get from some papers," I say, but my voice wavers in the middle of it.

"Aright, I'll admit I cheated a bit. I've been on your case the moment you left Seabrook, Holden. While the cops were on some wild goose chase, I've been doing my homework. And I guess this is where I decide if I pass or not."

"So you're here to help me?"

She doesn't answer my question. Instead, she switches her position, crossing her legs instead. "Do you even understand the reason we're sitting here right now?" When I don't say anything, she says, "You've got charges of homicide and kidnapping against you. Maltreatment, assault...you know name it. Do you know where that will land you if you don't cooperate? Do you know what's at stake here?"