no more denial :: halsey (editing)

8 - "for the love of god just let me have her."

(A/n)

OMG GUYS I'M SO SPRRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN 5EVER. I've had some pretty bad writers block, but I think I've got a way to keep this plot rolling well. I hope to be able to update again soon, ideally within the next week.

Thank you guys for being so patient with me!

***

I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. It wasn't necessarily intentional, I just paced around my living room, thinking about my kiss with Ashley, and it was five in the morning before I even knew it.

Something about her makes me wish I could hate her, just so I could get her out of my damn head. I'd see her for a minute or less, and she'd have me thinking about her for days.

I went out to my kitchen, brewing some coffee. I stood and drank it as I watched the sky transform from purple, to pink, to orange, and lastly light blue.

I decided I wanted to paint something, so I threw my hair into a bun, and hauled out my easel and all of my painting things. I had the mental image of the sunrise in my head, and I began to paint. It's like magic, the way the images and the colours just flow from my brush.

After what was probably about a half an hour, I decided I was finished with my painting of the sunrise. I didn't think I was going to try to sell this one at the studio. I liked it. I wanted to keep it. Something about it reminded me of Ashley, and the fire that was lit between us that felt as if it was never there before.

I had established the hours of my art studio as nine in the morning until four in the afternoon, Sunday through Friday. It was a Tuesday, so that meant I had to get going soon.

***

When I walked up to my apartment door after a day at the studio, the last person I would have expected to see again for a while was siting cross-legged, up against my door.

Michael.

"Michael?" I asked. His head snapped up, and a small smirk made it's way onto his face.

"That would be me."

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. He was acting as if it was a normal thing for him to be sitting outside of my door.

He shrugged, and I rolled my eyes. There was a silence, and he stood up, walking closer to me. I tried to walk past him, but he caught me in his arms and then we were kissing. I don't know how it happened.

I pulled away. "Michael-" I began, and he cut me off by roughly pushing his lips back on to mine again. I pulled away again. "Michael!"

"What?"

I was mad now. "What do you mean 'what'? Don't what me, Michael! You can't just come to my apartment and kiss me just because we kissed in a closet one night when we were drunk! Have you even thought about Ashley-"

"What do you mean by 'have you even thought about Ashely'. You're not with Ashley," he said, way too calmly.

I sighed, pushing his head down so it was level with mine. "Don't mention it to Ashley, I'm still afraid she'd get pissed," I said, and he nodded, then connected his lips to mine again.

Our lips roughly moved together. His kisses weren't soft like Ashley's. His kissed were demanding, and there was nothing soft about them. I wish I liked his kisses more than Ashley's, but I didn't.

I began to back up, against the door of my apartment, and Michael followed, so our lips could stay connected. I fiddled in my pocket for my apartment key, grabbed it, and tried to shove it in the door handle, but it was hard because I was pre-occupied by Michael's lips.

"Woah." Michael and I broke apart at the sound of the voice.

We both turned our heads at the same time, to see none other than Ashley.

For a while, we all stared at each other, and there was an awkward silence. Michael was the first to break it. "Hey." he said sheepishly.

"Are you two a thing now?" She asked, and we both blushed.

"No," I said, "I don't really know why he even came here."

Michael shrugged. "Well, I did want to spend some time of my tour break in New York, and I had already explored a lot of the city, so I was bored and came here."

Ashley chuckled, shaking her head. "I just came over to see if Delilah wanted to do anything, but I guess the three of us could do something."

"Sure," I said, "what did you have in mind?"

"Do you think we could just stay in and watch movies," Michael proposed, "because we're probably going to get mobbed otherwise."

I remembered how famous Michael was, and decided that would be the best option. "Yeah, that works."

"Ok," Ashley shrugged, "if that's good with you guys, it's good with me."

The three of us sat on the couch together, me in the middle, watching probably one of the most disturbing movies to ever be created; The Human Centipede.

The movie was so disturbing that I resulted to watching Michael's and Ashley's horrified faces as they watched the movie.

Eventually, I fell asleep, sandwiched between Michael and Ashley.

***

I woke up to what seemed to be an intense conversation between Michael and Ashley. I knew it was wrong, but I kept my eyes closed and pretended to still be asleep so I could hear what they were talking about.

"Michael, what's it with you and Delilah? For the love of god just let me have her." Ashley said, annoyance clear in her voice.

"She's not your's, Ashley. You just like to think she is." Michael's voice was oddly calm and smooth.

"Fuck, Michael, I could maybe have a chance to make her mine if you gave me one, you asshole." Ashley said, her voice rising at first and then lowering again, as if she remembered that I was laying right next to her asleep. Or so she thought.

I decided I had heard enough, or at least enough to know that the both had crushes on me. Wow, I sound like an ego-maniac.

I opened my eyes and shifted a bit, and both Ashley and Michael smiled. I could tell Ashley's smile was fake though. She still looked slightly agitated. Michael looked kind of smug.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, and they both shrugged.

"Long enough for the human centipede to end." Michael said with a yawn.

"God damn, I'll never get the images of that movie out of my head." Ashley shuddered, and I laughed a bit.

"Anyways," Michael said, standing up, "I'm gonna get going, I'm kind of tired and it's late." Michael said, reaching for his jacket.

"Me too." Ashley said, and stood up. Michael shot her an odd look, that they probably thought I wouldn't see, but I did.

They both left, and I checked the time, to find it was near midnight. It was later than I thought. I wasn't tired though, my mind was racing, like it usually is after an encounter with Ashley.

It was weird to think Michael and Ashley both had a bit of a thing for me. Did I like Michael? He could make me feel alive for a quick second, sexy even. But Ashley made me feel something no one ever has.

Me and Ashley could never work out though.