Lost in Dreams

Chapter six: My Fault

     I knew neither of us were ready to go to bed, I really didn't want to sleep, I was afraid. I didn't know what would happen or what dreams may occur, I didn't want to take the risk. I looked over at James, he had taken off his shirt and he was laying down watching a car show. He was so perfect, so handsome. I couldn't believe I could call him mine.
"What are you staring at?" He laughed, I was staring at him in a daze and forgot that I was still alive.
"Sorry!" I laughed and looked away.
"Well don't just leave me here I'm lonely come here." He laughed and patted his hand on the bed. I got up, and plopped on the bed, I was so fat compared to him, at least it felt like it. The part of the bed I was on sunk down further, anyways he looked thin. I don't think I do.
"Hey babe?" He just looked at me.
"Yes." What was he going to ask, he seemed to love asking questions. I had laid down on the bed and faced him.
"What's going on?" The words seemed to slip right out of his mouth so beautifully, but what did he mean?
"What, what do you mean?" What was he talking about?
"You know, with your parents, and you or just your life I guess. Babe are you okay?" Tears began to flow, my parents, they were going to spilt up and I knew it.
"I just, I'm sorry I'll be back." I ran over to my bag, grabbed my phone and ran into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind me, locking myself in. I pulled my phone case off of my phone revealing a note that my father had written for me. My mother had handed it to me before I got out of the truck.
"Cloe, I love you, I really do. I always will your my little girl. You have to understand what is best for the family and I think it may be best
for your mom and I to spilt up. I'm sorry. Of course I still want to see you, I wish I could see you every day and every second of my life, but to keep the bills paid it can't happen. If I move out, then I won't have to work as much, and I could see you more often.
                                 Love Daddy"
    
     I cried so much, I hadn't look at the letter yet, I really regret it. It was my fault my parents were splitting up. If I wasn't here they would stay together, right? Would I just be better off to run away, better off to just... Die.
     Before I knew it James was knocking on the door,"Are, are you okay? Cloe please answer me." The door creaked, he must have been leaning against it.
"I'm, I'm really okay." My voice shook as I tried to fight back what was really going on.
"No, let me in. Cloe please." His voice was shaking. I had to let him in, he was worried. I got up, and flipped the lock on the door, slowly pulling it open. My face was red from crying, and my eyes were glossy. I was holding the letter and my phone in one hand and the other hung by my side.
"James, I don't think I can do this anymore." I shifted my eyes away from his gaze.
"Do what? Cloe what's wrong!" He grabbed my hand.
"I can't live, anymore. It's my fault, everything is." I was crying. Of course I was crying.
     He guided me back into his room and sat me on the bed. I was tired. Not just sleepy but tired of living. I just couldn't take it.
"Cloe, you are the most beautiful, talented girl I have ever met. You are my world, my rock, my other half. Cloe I fucking love you. If you go I go, If you fall I pick you up. Don't give up please don't give up I won't let you give up. Please stay. Please?" He pulled me into a hug and I never wanted to let go.
"I just, James it's my fault my parents are splitting up. If I weren't here they would be perfectly happy. I ruined it all. I made everyone's life worse." I let go of him and put my face in my hands.
"No, no, no, Cloe no." He moved my hands away from my face and held onto them," Cloe, you didn't mess up anyone's life. You have made so people happy. Without you I wouldn't be happy, may not even be here." He looked at me, holding his stare.
"I love you James."
"I love you too, I always will."
     I curled up next to him as we fell asleep, he wrapped his arm around me and not to long after I could hear him snoring and I drifted asleep.