Sort of going off of the last chapter, this is a very weird Lockwood and Cob chapter. It's supposed to be satyrical, so don't make fun of the way I write, because I definitely don't normally write like that. Alrighty, let us begin the epic tale of Lockwood and Cob.
Anthony Lockwood was very sad.
His parents and sisters had just died, so he had a hole in his heart that nothing could fill.
Nothing except for corn on the cob, but he didn't know that at the time.
One night, a young Lockwood walked around the empty streets of London (no ghosts attacked him because I'm a cliché author who forgets important things as she wishes). Anyways, he was walking down Scary St. right next to house number 666. Suddenly, an arm reached out and grabbed poor Lockwood and dragged him into his house!
"Aaaaaah!!!1!" screamed young Lockwood. The arm belonged to a suuuuuper scaaaary figure in a long, sweeping robe. The scaaaary thing stepped forward and lightning flashed, revealing terrifying yellow eyes!
The creature creaked in a scaaaary voice, "I know who you are."
Young Lockwood was confused. "How?"
The creature reached out its surprisingly human hands and lowered the hood, revealing a kind old man. "I'm an old man and I'm cliché, so I know everything! I'm like the freakin' NSA, but twice as stalkerish!" he said.
Anthony Lockwood started to back away. "Um...ok," he said.
"Don't leave yet, I have food! I just used my super powerful X-Ray vision on you, so I know that you are hungry! I have the most amazing, most delicious food on Earth! No, in the universe!" With that, he and Lockwood were magically transported to a huge room filled to the ceiling with corn on the cob.
"Why corn on the cob?" Lockwood asked, only to be smacked by the old man.
"C'mon, man! Start being cliché! Don't question anything and do as you're told," the old man said.
So Lockwood and the old man happily ate corn for a few hours.
After being stuffed, they laid down on a bed of corn and Lockwood asked the old man, "What's your name, old man?"
"My name? Well, my name is Rob. Rob Bob Cob, if you're the formal type. You see, I earned that name when as a young child I would only eat corn. After a few years, I gained the power to turn into a cob of corn at will," he said. He then magically turned into a cob of corn, indistinguishable from all the other corn.
"Ah man, that's cool," said the now cliché Lockwood. The old man, or I mean cob, turned back into a human.
"Yeah it is, cause after all you are what you eat," he said.
And so, Lockwood lived with Rob Bob Cob for a few years until they decided to start a company named Lockwood and Cob. Then they moved to Lockwood's old home, 35 Portland Row. There, they grew and sold corn to all parts of the world. After a while, they decided to expand by hiring two new workers named George and Robbin. Robbin was later fired (in the oven) because he accidentally ate Rob Bob Cob while Rob Bob Cob was napping while in corn form. Lockwood and George were sad, but they had to hire a new operative. So they hired Lucy Carlyle because as soon as Lockwood and Lucy laid eyes on each other they fell in love and got married and had 137374 kids. Oh, and when they got married, all of the ghosts magically disappeared. So everyone lived happily ever after in a cliché way.
That was, until Donald Trump used his hair to destroy the universe.
El fin.
...That was the weirdest thing I have ever written. Now I bet you know why this book is called Lockwood and Co. Randomness.
-Agent Eepster
