Rider

19. All In.

Fear.

Supposedly it doesn't exist, it's just a trick of the mind. Your brain puts you in this mental state because it has too much adrenaline built up, it needs a release. It explains why we fall in our dreams. Why we die in our dreams.

The brain gives the heart a charge.

Our brain tricks us into this state to help us realize nothing is there. That shadow was thrown by you. The movement you saw in the corner of your eye, was just your imagination. Our brain sometimes needs to recharge our bodies by sending this panic through us. Making us scared for our lives. Your brain likes mind games.

Fear is not real, but danger is very real.

The feeling of danger is so much worse then the feeling of panic. The feeling of danger is real, you can't trick yourself into believing danger does not exist. Not everyone experiences true danger in there life time. Some people put themselves in dangerous situation because they want a rush. No, danger is being thrown into something where you know lives could be at stake. Danger is not a choice. It just happens.

And I feel like I'm in danger.

It had been a few days since I had seen or spoken to Rider. In fact, I haven't really spoken to anyone the past couple of days. Those pictures that Jay left on my car window rattled me to my core. I still had them, even though I knew I needed to throw them away, they had left me feeling sick though. Feeling sick at the thought I was being watched and my friends and my family were being watched. Always under some kind of threat. It terrifies me because I never believed I would be in this situation.

No I wasn't old enough to be in this situation.

I'm in high school, and no one should be getting these kinds of threats in high school. I hate wondering if I need to keep everyone at arms length wherever I go. I feel responsible for lives, and that has put so much weight in my shoulders. It's the reason I decided not to go to school today, I felt sick. Every second I feel I was going to throw up. Mom tried to joke with me that I was pregnant but then she scared herself about the thought of it. It was actually really funny to watch.

The folder I kept closed and it sat under my laptop on my desk.

Sometimes I would glance at it but I would be feel sick all over again. All day I had been stuck in my bed. I could never find a comfortable spot and my brain just felt like it would never shut up. It was a Thursday but I knew I had nothing I really missed in any of my classes that was too important. Nothing I couldn't make up easily. The day just seemed to drag on, but rushed at the same time. The time seemed to stop when the doorbell rang. I shoved a pillow over my head and blocked the world out. I could hear voice downstairs but I didn't care to really listen. I flipped over so I was stomach first on my bed.

My door squeaked open but I didn't even bother to look. My bed on the other side pressed down under someone's weight and an arm slipped around my waist. His aroma filled the air and I knew it was Rider.

"Hi." He spoke softly and pulled my body so my back was against his front. His arms was held around my waist. He was cold but I knew it had to at least be in the forties today because had been raining earlier.

"Hi." I responded and stayed facing away from him.

"How are you feeling?" He asked and was being soft and I felt the one of his hands rubbing my back.

"Like death." I spoke and I looked at him and I could see the concern on his face. His bruises had been healing really well, and scabs had forms on his face. I doubt they will scar though. I wondered if I should tell him, except I don't exactly the extent to Rider. How he actually reacts to his enemies threats.