For Him - Shawn Mendes

LIFE gave me her

SHAWN

5th of January, 2014.

Me: Do you have a bike? We'll ride to school.

Hannah: Yeah, I have one. You really like your bike, huh?

Me: Nooo. I hate it.

Hannah: Oh? Why're we riding then? You can catch a lift with my fam if you want, my mum's taking Noah and Chloe.

Me: Nah, I want to ride with you. It'll be fun, can I pick you up at 7:30?

Hannah: Okay. Sounds ace.

Me: Good morning by the way.

Hannah: Morning x

Me: x

I throw my hoodie over my bed. Why doesn't it feel good enough? Beside it, a small (but steadily growing) cluster of clothes lay in a pile on my bed. Tee-shirt? Too cold.

Settling on a navy blue flannel over a simple white tee, I run down the stairs. Aaliyah sits at the kitchen counter with strawberries and watermelon in a bowl. In her hands she holds a slip of paper.

"Morning, kid." I say, pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

Liyah nods, her eyes still on the piece of paper. "You gonna reply?" I ask, sliding her a glass.

"Sorry. Morning," She replies, looking up. Her eyes are bloodshot with red, a single tear welling in her tear duct.

"Woah, woah, Liyah, what's up?" I ask, leaning over the counter to wipe her eye. She shrugs, placing the slip of paper on the table.

Act One Drama School, 1775 Plummer St, Pickering, ON.

Semester 1 classes.

Paid.

"What is it?" I ask, turning the paper over in my hand. On the other side, a picture of a class of smiling teenagers with props on their faces fills the page.

"Acting classes," Liyah mumbles, "I opened the gifts from mum."

I gulp, my head clouding with questions. Was there a card? Is this her handwriting? Is she really gone? Are there pieces of her in pieces of this?

"I know you were waiting," Aaliyah mumbles, "but I miss her and it was on my dresser and I just-"

"It's okay," I reply, hushing her with a hug. I think about the gifts that sit in the corner of my room, untouched. For another day. Not today. Never today.

"Hey," I smile at her, "you're gonna be our little Broadway kid."

My sister laughs, shoveling a piece of watermelon into her mouth before standing up. "You should probably start going now," She nudges me, one hand pointing to the clock on the wall.

She knows cars scare you, I think, she knows how freaking weak you are.

"You're right," I blow her a kiss, "Love you." She catches it, and I'm off.

HANNAH

I pulled the hood of my sweater over my head, light beads of water falling from the clouded sky. Shawn peddled beside me, silent.

"Why're you riding on the sidewalk?" I laughed, "It's so early the roads are empty."

Shawn shrugged, eyeing the road with a shiver. He looked cold. "Where're all of your siblings?" He licked his lips, disregarding my question.

"In bed," I laughed slightly, "school doesn't start for another hour."

Shawn raised his eyebrows at me, eyes cute and inviting even at this time of hour. In his blue flannel he looked good, with small droplets clinging to his brown messy hair. "Remind me," I went on, dodging a pothole in the road, "why we're out here so early?"

"To seize the day." He shot me a grin.

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "On bikes?"

"They're just a part of it. You see," he paused, pulling his bike into school, "No-one's here. I can give you a tour."

"I've already had a tour," I laughed.

Shawn slid his bike into a rack beside the car park, tying it with a chain before standing up. "My uncle used to be a groundskeeper here," He paused, taking my hand, "And there are parts of this hell hole that I've shown only one person before. Soon to be two."

"And who was that?" I asked, following him into the school toward the cafeteria.

Shawn remained silent, checking the hallways for the early morning cleaners. We reached a blue door, 'staff only,' written in red, and he let go of my hand.

"They think it's a supply cupboard," Shawn laughed, "they never open it. Idiots."

He pulled a key from his back pocket, a purple one that fitted perfectly into the slot. He turned the handle clockwise and gave the door a push. It squeaked open, a deafening noise that revealed a small concrete stairwell leading to a small room.

"What is this?" I asked, climbing the stairs as Shawn closed the door behind us. The floor was dusty, holes in the floorboards revealing polished concrete. A yellow arched window covered a brick wall on the far side - a perfect view of the front of the school. Around it was lights. The same fairy lights with the same yellow filament.

"An abandoned classroom? Who knows." Shawn replied, sitting cross-legged in front of the window. He patted the floorboard beside him, gesturing for me to join him.

We sat in silence, watching as people slowly arrived at school. Groups of younger girls mixed with older guys and friends piled out of crowded cars. From the far side of the car park, we watched in silence as my new friends crossed the tarmac.

"Lauren," Shawn whispered after a while, a harshness in his tone.

"What about her?" I asked, turning to him.

Shawn shrugged, "You asked who the other person was."

"Oh," I smiled, watching Lauren link hands with Ian as she trailed behind the others, "she's lovely."

Shawn scoffed from beside me. "She's a bitch."

"What?" I asked, my tone confused and sour, "She's your friend."

"They're not my friends," He shook his head, bottom lip trapped beneath disappointment.

The bell rang. I stood from my position on the floor, "So why'd you come to see them yesterday?"

"I came to see you."

Oh god, I forgot. "But why?" I pressed.

He stood, slinging his backpack across his shoulder, reminding me yet again of just how tall he was. "To keep you away from her."

"You're ridiculous!" I scoffed at the boy, "They've been nothing but nice to me and now you're just being an asshole."

Shawn winced, his brown eyes closing momentarily as he breathed out. "Hannah, you've known them for a day."

"And I haven't known you much longer." I shook my head, suddenly overwhelmed by his change in attitude. "Thanks for showing me the room." I scooped my bag from the floor, not turning to face him as I hurried back down the stairs.