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Chapter 3: Can't Get Away From Myself

*****

   After a pizza and many episodes later it's 3 in the morning and I find my self extremely tired. I turn off my tv, put the pizza box on the counter, and head to my room. Quickly, I change into a lion onesie and flop into bed. My hand effortlessly places my phone on my side table and I mindlessly mumble "Goodnight Dan." I'm not sure if it's my imagination or not but I swear I hear a voice reply, "Goodnight Phil", before unconsciousness washes over me.

*****

I turn around and take in the scenery, this all looks so familiar. Around me I see trees next to a river and birds are flying all around me, flowers are growing here and there and all I can hear is the sound of nature. Everything looks so perfect and familiar but so unreal, almost like everything is too bright, or sharp.

I look slightly to my right and see a man standing there. I know what this is, this is the day Chris and I started dating. I walk up to Chris and he takes my hand, but it's not Chris' hand that grabs mine, no its someone else's. I look from our hands up to Chris' face but he doesn't look like Chris, this man has compelling, dark brown eyes and a fringe that covers the left side of his forehead. He is slightly taller than me and has a slender build.

He's wearing a black t-shirt with a white ring in the middle and black jeans. This is a memory that's for sure, I'm just with the wrong person. This isn't Chris, it's the man from the shopping centre.

   The scenery around me changes and suddenly I'm sitting on a couch in Chris' flat. I'm still with the man from before and he's laughing this time, he has a laugh that would cure all sadness, a laugh I would die to have in my life everyday.

   He stops laughing and stares directly into my eyes, I lose focus and stare right back. I lose focus but snap back into reality, or as real this can be, by a pair of lips on mine. I'm overwhelmed by the sweet musk that's being propelled at me and embrace the kiss.

I pull away for air and notice that we are now in a restaurant. Le Palais to be exact, it's where Chris and I had our first date. We each have a steak with perfectly placed herbs in front of us and two champagne glasses on the table. The circular tables are covered in perfect, white table cloths and there is no one around us.

"Phil," the man in place of Chris starts, but his voice changes into sounds that fill the whole room, almost like an alarm.

I open my eyes and everything is gone, the restaurant, the man, the food, everything except the alarm sound. It's coming from beside my bed and I can see a light from my phone screen. Huh, I must have accidentally turned on the alarm earlier. I pick up my phone and silence it. I then place it down and head to the toilet.

   I'm a bit shaky and in need of refreshing so I grab a cloth and soak it with cold water. When the cloth is completely soaked, I twist it to get some of the water out and press it to my face. The cold cloth against my face really cools me down and I just stand there for a few minutes.

   When I'm cool and refreshed I head back to my bedroom and check the time, 5:27. I can still get a few solid hours of sleep. I'm about to climb back into bed and go to sleep when I hear a beep signalling that Dan is active.

   "Are you okay Phil?" A voice with a bit of a shake too it asks through the phone.

   I would usually find this strange but with everything he's said this is becoming normal for me. I answer like Dan is a person right in front of me, like he's a concerned friend.

"I-I'm fine." I stutter.

  "Phil. I know you're depressed, and you were shaking in your sleep. I want you to be honest with me."

   I think for a while before answering, Dan wasn't just a phone that's for sure. He really did care, no one could act the feelings Dan has shown since I've gotten my phone. After a while of thinking I blurt out:

"Thank you, Dan."

There's another pause and I finally build up the courage to ask what has been taking up most of my brain for a while now.

"You're more than just a phone aren't you?"

   After I say it I instantly regret my choice and the regret gets heavier with every passing second. Eventually Dan answers and a new weight fills my chest.

"I'm whatever you want me to be."