Unsubstantial Hope

Mr Possessive

I am aware i havent been the best person in the world recently. i have had writers block for a while now, but i finally came up with something to write. its not the greatest, but i hope you enjoy

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I’m not an idiot. There is no way in hell I’m going to tell Jake anything even remotely true about my life. He waited expectantly, his eyes sparkling. I took a moment to decide what I would say, but then decided to go with whatever comes out of my mouth.

“When I was three years old, my mum left us. I was too young to know why, but I think it had something to do with the shit she was smoking. Her dealer left, so she left too. I lived with my dad for a while, but you could see the strain his life was putting him, the dark bags under his eyes that became a second skin on him. I was only a child, but I tried my hardest to cheer him up. Thinking now, I was probably just making it worse, having him see me so happy. I suppose that’s what drove him over the edge. One day, he didn’t come home for dinner. I had to climb through the window just to get inside the damn house. A week later, a woman turned up at my house.” I stalled, attempting to think of events that would piece everything together. “A man was with her, and she introduced him as Greg. She said that her little girl needed someone to look after her, so this man would raise me as his own. She left without a goodbye, and I was left at the door, staring into the eyes of a man who probably didn’t even realise I was there, he was so high. He raised me into what I am today, and I suppose I own him a lot. But sometimes, like what you saw when you were in my house," I glared at him, “everything gets to him. The drugs, the alcohol, and his life in general. Sometimes I don’t see him for days, but others, he lashes out at anyone. That was one of the more violent run-ins I’ve had with him.”

“What about Richard?”

“He’s Greg’s best friend, they’re both on the same page with the drugs and alcohol.” He looked at me for a moment.

“You shot him Renee. You shot Richard. You could have killed him for Christ’s sake.”

“I’ll be honest with you. If you weren’t there, I probably wouldn’t have done that, but sometimes it all gets to me, and-” He suddenly grabbed me in a tight embrace, rubbing my back softly.

“You don’t have to explain anymore, it’s okay.” Thank god, I thought to myself, I was running out of lies. 

We stayed like that for about an hour, him holding me and breathing onto my neck, me silently crying tears of joy that he hadn’t asked any more questions. There’s bound to be potholes in my story, but it’ll do for now. Jake brought his hand down to my waist and leaned back slightly, his eyes flickering from my lips to my eyes. I needed to move before I did something I’d regret, but my body wouldn’t let me leave. I was frozen in the gaze of his eyes, and as he slowly leaned in, I found myself leaning in as well. The kiss was short, but still managed to leave me wanting more. He pulled away a little too quickly, afraid of what I would do. As if on instinct, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again. This one was more powerful, and he tightened his grip around my waist. This was wrong, but there was no way I was going to stop. Jake picked me up, and I felt us walking down a hallway, and then he kicked open a door. This was the point where I knew it had to stop. I unhappily untangled my hands from his hair and pulled away from him. He growled when I stepped out of his arms but made no move to stop me as I began walking to the door.

I was suddenly slammed into the wall with Jakes body pressed against mine. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed, but he stayed still, like stone.

“Jake, we can't do this.” I stuttered, my breathing heavy and matched with his.

“No. You think you can lie to me and get away with it?” My mouth fell open. “Close your mouth babe, don’t look so surprised.”

“I-I wasn’t lying.”