Love Metamorphosis

Chapter 1

There was something entirely too heart wrenching about the memories one has about those lost abruptly and prematurely. The rain hit the glass on the train windows as it moved across country. Normally she loved the scenery but today it was no comfort to her. She could see the reflection of her blond hair in the window. On most days she preferred to pull it back away from her face.

Today its thick and wavy locks curled around her shoulders because she had remembered how much he preferred her hair down. There was a tap on the compartment door and Jemma turned her head slowly to the sound, as though coming out of a deep sleep. She was in a daze and everything took a moment to process. There was a woman outside the door that had a snack and food cart.

Jemma was about to wave her along when she remembered that she was thirsty and the soda she had packed wasn't sounding appetizing. She reached down into her purse, retrieved her wallet, and waved the woman in. Sliding the door back she swung her hip in between the door and her cart pulling it partway inside. "What will it be?" She asked nicely.

"A bottle of water," Jemma said reaching inside her wallet for a few dollars.

Reaching into the cooler of her cart the woman handed her the plastic water bottle, "That will be 2:50."

Moving her few dollars around until she found a five, Jemma was careful to keep her composure. Pulling it out Jemma handed her the five. Jemma's eyes wandered to the shine of the band on the woman's left hand. Jemma's chest tightened and she hastily took the water from her outstretched hand.

"Thank you, you can keep the change." Jemma said turning back to the window, tears threatening to erupt again.

"Have a lovely trip." The woman said cheerfully before closing the door almost silently.

Jemma could feel her composure return slowly, as she looked at her pale face in the reflection of the glass. Her black clothes made her face look like a beacon in the dark. She touched her cheek in an absentminded fashion as her eyes remained downcast in thought. He had loved her ivory skin, and had often said she was like a princess caught in modern times.

In a way she was a princess, and he had been her knight in shining armor. She used to love fairy tales and happily ever after stories but it was hard to put much stock in them now. The heroic knight didn't leave the princess, ever, and they lived long lives together with lots of children and happy memories. What did Jemma have but memories?

She felt herself turn melancholy again. It was a constant battle between bitter tears and solemn internal conversations. Normally she was a very happy woman; nearly overly optimistic. He had loved that about her too. She suddenly had a chill and shuttered from the impact of her thoughts as her lower lip quivered again. She closed her eyes against the pain.

Taking a shaky breath she opened the cap to her water bottle and took a hearty sip. There was something oddly calming about ice cold water against ones teeth. It was as though the water was extra frigid to remind her that she was alive. She glanced around the empty compartment, alive and alone. So utterly alone that the entire universe seemed to be collapsing around her at time; to be so used to having someone with you always, and then suddenly aware you are alone in the world.

She wanted desperately to call her father, and reached for her phone in her purse. Her thumb hovered over the phone symbol next to her father's name when she stopped. What good would it do to call? She would be seeing him shortly and Jemma knew the instant she heard his voice she would be lost to those bitter tears.

Tossing her phone back into her purse she crossed her arms and looked back to the clouded landscape. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back trying to drown out her pain with the sound of the train. That and the feeling of her heart caving in on itself over and over again. A black hole of infinite bitterness and grief.