Finding the Missing Piece: Book 5

Chapter Thirty-Five

"There's somebody out there that would do anything for a job, Peeta. No matter what it is or how much it pays!" I yell at him and get out of my chair.

I look towards the back door and know that if I want to stay conscious I'm going to need some fresh air.

So I walk out onto the back porch and of course, Peeta follows me.

I plop down on the first step and stare out into the darkness. He sits a safe distance away from me.

"Why do you think that leaving us helps anything?" I ask him angrily.

He thinks about it a minute.

"I just thought that you would be happier." He starts.

I could slap him I'm so mad at him right now.

"I wouldn't be." I assure him.

"How do you know?" He tries.

I turn to him.

"Because I have been without you before and it's not fun for me at all." I say, remembering how a few Thanksgiving's back, when I was pregnant with Willow, he left me for a few weeks for a stupid job.

I honestly thought we would never get back together but somehow we did.

I nearly went crazy though, I remember it well.

Every night I would cry myself to sleep, wearing his clothes and sleeping on his side of the bed, where his pillow still had his scent, despite the fact he hadn't used it in weeks.

I would look through our photo albums or in his art room. And I even got out this box of every sentimental thing that Peeta has ever given me in there, necklaces or simpler things like this picture of him from our senior year-all baby faced.

"And has the last few months been fun for you?" Peeta asks, thinking somehow he's making a point.

"Nope."

He sighs, "That's why you should make me leave."

"Do you just want to leave? Is that why you're doing all of this? Is it that you're too scared to tell me that you want to leave? Because if you want to leave me then just do it." I say frustratedly.

His blue eyes burn holes into the cement, "Katniss, it's not that. It's just I don't even know what to do anymore. Yeah, say I hire a few people to help me, that isn't the only problem." Peeta says.

"Then what is the fucking (1) problem?" I ask him.

"The fucking (2) problem is I don't even know why the hell I'm doing this." He tells me, aggravated.

I roll my eyes, "Well, you better figure it out. Willow is suffering more than I am so worry about her before you worry about me."

He shrugs, "I'm sorry, Katniss. I really am but I can't help anything I feel. It's not like I just woke up and decided, 'Well, my life hasn't been bad in awhile, so I'm gonna be depressed.'"

I groan, "Obviously you didn't do that but that's what it feels like." I start. "It slowly just went downhill and I'm not sure how to get back up but if you just want to quit after everything we've been through and promised each other, then you just go on and leave." I tell him.

"It's like I told you last time there was a decision to be made. I don't know what you want to do so you better make up your mind and if you truly want to be here, then you'll stay and if not then you'll leave and I don't care what you choose but you're being fucking (3) ridiculous. And this is the last time I'm having this conversation with you." I tell him truthfully.