Feelings are Over-Rated (KyleXZac)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"I love you, too, mum."

After that, I decide to skip breakfast and just start walking to school. About half way there, I realize that I'm shaking. I try to calm myself, but then I start to feel my heart pounding in my chest. Breath, Zac. Relax. You'll be fine. It won't be anything that hasn't happened before. I know what it's like to get beat up. I know what it's like to have everyone hate me. It's nothing new.

I walk into the school and look around quickly. I don't see Mikell or any of his friends, so I rush to my locker, keeping aware of my surroundings. When I get to my locker, my eyes go wide. My locker is covered in graffiti. All kinds of words are all over the door. Homo, queer, gay, disgusting, loser, freak, the whole lot of it. But in giant letters going all the way down the locker is, of course, faggot.

I feel the blood rushing to my face and my hands shake and ball into fists. Along with being angry that they actually did this, I'm humiliated. If it wasn't already, now my sexuality is on display for the whole school to see. Now everyone can just look at my locker and see it. See who I am. I am no longer just Zachary. I'm Zachary, the faggot. That's all I'll ever be. I'm just someone for everyone to play with and laugh at. I'm inferior to everyone because I don't like girls. And everyone knows it. If that's not degrading and humiliating, then I don't know what is.

I blink away tears and turn around so I don't have to look at my locker anymore, hoping I'll forget it even though I know the image is forever burned in my head. People are staring at me. People are laughing. With my eyes on the ground, I quickly shove past them and go to Kyles locker to see if they've done the same thing. Of course, Kyles locker is covered in the same words as mine was. On the floor next to the locker is Kyle with his face hiding in his folded arms which rest on his knees. I run over to him and pull him up off the floor. I try my hardest to ignore the people around us, holding in laughter. Kyle looks at the people around us and then looks to me. I put an arm around his waist and pull him away from the stupid locker.

I can tell that Kyle feels a lot like I do. Angry, embarrassed, just plain hurt. I let Kyle hide himself in my shoulder as I walk as quick as I can to the bathroom, my arm never leaving his waist. When we get there, luckily no one's in there. Everyone is probably trying to get to class. Or taking pictures of our lockers. Or plotting some other way to ruin us further. I hand Kyle some toilet roll and he wipes his eyes. I bite my lip as I try not to cry. Kyle really doesn't need to see that.

He throws away the soggy toilet roll and heads over to the sink. He splashes his face with water and then dries it off. He stands with his back towards me and his hands on either side of the sink. I walk over to him and gently place a hand on his shoulder. He turns around and we lock gazes. I wipe a tear away from his unblemished cheek. It seems that that was all it took for Kyle to lose it again. He clung to me as he sobbed into my shoulder. I held onto him as tight as I could, fearing letting go. His crying goes on for a while. I just stand there and let him cry. The only thing I can do right now is hold him and wait.

We stay in this position until about halfway through first period. That's when Kyle sobs stop and he pulls away. His gaze goes directly to the tiled floor.

"Why?" Is the first thing Kyle says. His voice is weak and small due to the crying he's been doing. I could hardly hear it even though we are in complete silence. "Why did they do it?"

"I don't know." I shake my head. "But I'm going to tell the headmaster and she'll get it painted over."

Kyle nodded as more tears fell. He finally looked into my eyes. His blue eyes were completely bloodshot and puffy. I handed him some more toilet roll and he wipes his eyes again. I ask him if he wants to come help me tell the headmaster now and he agrees. I take his hand in mine and we walk together to the headmaster's office.

When we get there, I knock lightly on the door. From inside, she calls, "Come in!"

I open the door and close it behind us. She smiles at us and tells us to take a seat.

"Well, good morning Zachary and Kyle." I wonder how she knows Kyles name. He's never been to her office before. She frowns when she sees Kyles state. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Um our lockers got spray painted by someone." I explain. "Could you get a custodian to paint over it or something?" She nods.

"Yes of course." She hands Kyle a tissue. He accepts it and squeezes my hand. "Do you know who did it?"

I have a pretty good guess, but I'd rather not say. If I told on Mikell, he'd get expelled and he'd kill us. So, I shake my head.

"No."

"Alright. Well, your lockers will be fixed by tomorrow, I assure you. Thank you for stopping by." She smiles at us. I smile back, but Kyle ignores her. I don't blame him.

We exit her office and decide to spend the rest of the period in the bathroom. I've never ditched a class before, but right now, it seems like the only option.

The entire day was terrible. The only good part about it was Mikell and his friends didn't pound on me. I think Mikell is starting to do something new. Instead of physically hurting us, he's starting to try to get into our heads. And, man is Mikell good at that. Now I'm not saying he's done beating us up, I'm just saying that he's found an additional form of torture. And everyone seems to be helping out with this one.

I've been called so many names today. When I walk down the halls, all I hear is insults. Before I get into class, people write on my desk and laugh as I come in the room. Today, three teachers have handed me back assignments where my name was erased and someone wrote "Faggot". I can only imagine how Kyles taking it.

After the last class of the day, I head to my locker. Over the course of the day, even more people have written stuff on my locker. I have a feeling that after the custodian cleans it up, it'll get messy again.

When I'm done, I walk over to Kyles locker. I promised him that I would to make sure he's okay and that no one would hurt him after school. As I approached his locker, I saw Kyle standing there, reading a piece of paper. I watched him as he dropped the note, slam his locker and speed away.

"Kyle!" I call as I chased after him. "Kyle, wait!" But he didn't. He kept going. He ran out the front door of the school and I followed. I lost him. I looked in the direction of his house, or my house, and everywhere else. Nowhere.

I decided to go back inside to see if the note was there. I reached Kyles locker and looked on the floor. Sure enough, there it was. I picked it up and started reading.

You're disgusting. You're such a piece of shit that deserves to fucking burn in hell. Do you know how wrong it is? Do you know how wrong it is to be a faggot? It's so wrong. So fucking sick. You don't deserve anyone who loves you. Anyone who loves you will burn in hell with you. And that boyfriend of yours is just as disgusting as you. Both of you are just a waste of space and shouldn't even be considered human. Do everyone a favor and never show your ugly face here again. Faggot.

-You already know

I crumple the piece of paper and keep it balled in my fist. I run outside the school and get home as fast as I can. I run to my room and lock the door, throwing the note somewhere. Anywhere out of sight. I punch my wall, leaving a hole in it. I scream into my pillow as the blood trickles from my knuckles.

I'm so pissed off that I can't form any understandable thoughts. Except one.

I hope Kyle okay.