Matteo. (Boyxboy)

(11) Matteo is in his head

Authors note!

Okay I am seriously so pissed off right now! I was at like chapter 17 maybe? some how the past six chapters have been deleted 😭😩

sorry if updates are going to be a little slow (and short) right now, this put me in a very bad mood.
~

Matteo

There's a storm going on

And nobody will hear it.

- anonymous

Chapter 11 (Safari Niles POV)

Matteo.

One boy that I couldn't get out of my head.

When I saw his at that diner with Finley and Alice my heart broke because I thought they were his family. I wanted him to want me.

But he didn't.

I could see it. He saw me as his friend. He felt sorry for me. I hated that, I wanted him to love me just as much as I love him.

I love him.

I figured it out a few months ago. I kept going on his Instagram looking at picture of him with his friends. Happy.

I loved seeing him happy but I was jealous that I couldn't make him happy like those people he hung out with did.

I was a fucking stalker. I pretty much looked at pictures of him everyday for that last year.

Last year.

When he held up that helpless boy like that it brought back old memories. The little boy was me once upon a time.

It angered me to see him like that.. A bully. I've always had a anger problem but I've managed to hide it well.

My twin sister Safaria died last year..a few months after graduation. Me and her have always been close and when I drove the car out of control and down to some rocky stream. I killed her. I was a mess for the past few months. I cried, I never ate and I stayed home and cut myself when no one was home.

Then I started thinking about Matteo again. I looked on his Instagram every single day like the fucking creep I was. I looked at all the little mini videos he would post with his friends, laughing, having fun, enjoying life, not missing me..

He put a little bit of happiness into my life and managed to make me smile with all the silly stuff he would post.

My mother forced my to go to college so I wouldn't just give up my dream and regret it later on in life. If I didn't want to go i wouldn't have, but then I found out Matteo went to that school and I just couldn't resist.

-

I was slammed onto the wall as Matteo gripped at my shoulders painfully.

He took my wrist and put it front of my face so I could see. "You see this!? What the fuck it this!?" He yelled in rage.

"It's a cut Matteo."

"Why?" He said sounding so hard to try to understand. "How would you feel if I cut myself?" He said staring intensely into my eyes.

I blew out a breath and shook my head. Matteo cutting himself.. God. I'd be fucking heart broken if he cut himself.. If he was like me.

"I'd be heart broken." I said avoiding his eyes but he grabbed my face roughly with his two hands and made me look at him.

"Exactly how do you think I feel knowing that your doing this to yourself?"

I let out a sigh "it doesn't even matter when I saw y-.. I-I mean when I came here I stopped." I said blushing furiously.

"Why did you do this?" He whispered, staring at my scar. I trying to pull my hand away but he kept a firm grip on me. 

"Matteo.."

He glared at me and then left.

I stood there confused and was just about to walk off in case he came back but then he came back.

He took a razor and held it at his wrist. I stared at him in shock and panic as I tried to get the razor from him "M-Matteo." I said with wide eyes.

"Why?" He growled.

"I-I.." I said staring at him helplessly. I didn't want Matteo to know about my struggles. I didn't want him to know I was weak.

"Are you not ready to talk about it?" He questioned softly.

"N-no-"

"Then fucking answer me!" He yelled. He put his hands against the wall at either sides of my face and stared at me with his glowing light brown eyes.

I stared at him in a trance. He was so fucking gorgeous. My eyes trailed down to his lips and my breath quickened as I stared at his soft red lips that were parted slightly as he breathed heavily.

He took the razor against his skin and pulled down, cutting himself. "Matteo no! Why the fuck would you do that!?" I said glaring at him as I held his bleeding wrist.

"Apparently you didn't think I was serious."

I stared at him with my mouth open "I was about to! You fucking idiot!"

He looked down and blushed a deep red color in embarrassment. "Oh."

I rolled my eyes and took his arm that wasn't cut, before dragging him back to my room so I could clean his cut.

"Your so fucking stupid." I muttered under my breath as I pulled him along.