Feelings are Over-Rated (KyleXZac)

CHAPTER FOUR

"But that's not how you should see yourself!" I say, starting to get hurt by seeing Kyle's pain.

"That's how everyone else sees me!" Kyle starts to walk away from me.

"That's not how I see you!" I shout. Kyle turns back to me, obviously upset that we're still talking about this.

"How do you see me?" He shouts back.

The only answer I could supply was stepping up to him, closing the space between us, and kissing him. I cup his cheek with my hand and kiss him gently, not wanting to overwhelm him. I can tell how badly he's blushing by the heat radiating off of his face. I can feel myself blushing just as bad, maybe even worse. After a few seconds, I feel him finally start to respond. That's when reality catches up to me. He probably didn't want this like I did. I push him off of me, regretting everything that just happened.

"Zac-"

"Kyle, I'm sorry. That wasn't supposed to happen. I-I fucked up." I mumble, my entire body shaking. I grab my backpack and start running off of the stage. I slap my feet against the floor of the auditorium, wanting to get away from here as soon as I can.

"Wait, Zac!" Kyle calls after me.

I ignore him and push open the doors, tears blurring my vision. I hear his footsteps trailing behind me, trying to catch up. I bolt into the nearest bathroom and hide in a stall, hoping Kyle doesn't come in here.

"Zac?" I hear Kyle by the sink. I hold my breath. "Zac, please. I saw you come in here. Please just talk to me." I keep holding my breath, not making a single noise. The bell rings, interrupting the silence. Kyle sighs. "Zac, I know you don't want to talk, and that's fine, but listen. I'm not mad or anything. Or whatever you think I am right now. I just want to know why. I'm ready when you want to talk. I have to go or I'll be late. I'll see you later."

And with that, I heard his footsteps fade away into the distance. I let go the breath I had been holding and wait in the stall until the warning bell rings. I go over to the sink and wash my hands, splashing the cold water on my face. I took deep breaths and exited the bathroom. I got to my seat in the auditorium just as the bell rang.

All I could think about that period was how stupid I had been.

When the bell rang at the end of fourth, I stayed in my seat. I had no desire to go see Kyle at lunch. I didn't want to face him. I'm too ashamed of myself for that.

"Zachary?" Mrs. Lavender asked. I kept staring at the ceiling. "The period is over. Go on to your next class." She said, sweetly.

I sighed in response and reluctantly got up.

"Girl trouble?" She asked.

"Kind of." I said. She's a pretty cool teacher, so I just decide to be honest with her.

"I've been teaching students your ages for a while, I can tell when romance has got someone down. Who is she?"

"It's um..." I rub my eyes, unsure of how to answer. Well she is my favorite teacher, why not just say it? "It's a guy."

"Oh." She said. "Well, I'm sure he'll come around and see what a great young man you are and he'll like you a lot. Now go on to class."

"Thanks." I smile back at her. I didn't really expect her to be accepting.

I turn and walk out of the auditorium, hoping that Kyle wasn't there waiting for me. Luckily, he wasn't. As I walked down the hall towards the cafeteria, I spot Kyle. My stomach does a flip when I see him. Not a normal stomach flip though. This one is worse because I know that I did something wrong. I was an idiot and kissed him. I can't face him. No way am I going to lunch. I quickly turn and run to the bathroom, hiding in a stall, yet again. Looks like I'll be spending lunch in here. Why am I such a fucking coward? Why can't I just face him? Or better yet, why couldn't I have kept my feelings to myself?

I shortly realize that this is why I never have friends. I fuck everything up. Of course, I would end up liking the one person that cares enough to try and be my friend. And then fuck it up. As per usual. Like everything in my life. Just fuck it up.

I close my eyes and rest my head on the stall door. Fuck up. Big time fuck up.

At this point, I'm glad that lunch is my last class with Kyle. I don't think I could last a second in his sight without dying of humiliation.

For the rest of the day, Kyle was all I could think about. And that kiss. That stupid, stupid kiss. Every minute that went by, I regretted it even more. Every time I saw Kyle in the hallway, my face would heat up and I'd feel like passing out. When the final bell rings, I take my time going to my locker, hoping that Kyle would leave before I go outside. No such luck. Kyle's waiting right outside the school, looking worried. There goes the stomach flip.

"Zac, please talk to me." Kyle pleads. I ignore him and keep walking. "Please? I'm not mad or anything. I just really want to talk."

"I really don't want to talk about it." I say to him, not making eye contact.

"Why not? Zac, I-"

"Kyle, please. I'm sorry I kissed you. Please just leave it alone."

"But, Zac-"

"I have to go." I walk away before he can make any sort of objection.

The whole way home, I feel as if someone is following me, but whenever I turn around, no one's there. When I got home, I sit in my room with the door locked. I don't come out all night. Not to eat, not to answer the door when some one knocked, not to see my parents, not for anything. I just stay there and ignore the world around me. Even when my phone vibrates with a text from Kyle.

"I can't get you out of my head, Zac. Please just talk to me.

-Kyle"

I shut my phone off and throw it across the room. Somewhere around midnight, I fall into a deep sleep, dreaming about nothing other than Kyle.

A/n: I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this so.. It's probably gonna be weird I'm sorry