Sirf tumharay liye. //AU.//

Chapter 36.

**TRIGGER WARNING**

I lied on the bed, not moving an inch. I wasn't able to, I didn't want to.

I felt dirty, I felt like he was still here.

I shut my eyes close tightly as I held back to tears forming in my eyed and at that moment, I missed Hussain.

The person who would've saved me if he would've been here, but he didn't come. He didn't save me from falling apart.

My mind wandered to the same thing again and again, pressuring me to take that step, as much as I wanted not to, there really was nothing left in me to live my life now.

Mera sab kuch tou cheen lia is duniya ne. Ab baqi kiya raha?

I took a deep breathe as I opened my eyes, determined to take such step, to end it all for once.

Weakly getting up from the bed I readjusted the loose T-shirt that hung on my body.

I took the pen and paper and jotted down my feelings, my words without hesitation. I knew what to write somehow, as if I saw all of this coming.

Hopefully when you'll read this, I'll be long gone.
Look what people make others do, look what Farhan made me do.
I pray that he learns his lesson, I pray that everybody I once loved, live their life with happiness unlike me, who destroyed it herself. Call me coward but I'm not able to hold in all of this what has happened to me.
I loved Hussain and forever will, I hope I find him up there somewhere.
I've been dreading to end it all when I saw him die in front of my own eyes and I wasn't able to do anything, something was holding me together, but now every feeling, every cure has vanished from this heart.
I'll ask my Allah up there, one single question, "Jo apni makhlooq se bepanah pyaar karta hai, voh pyaar karnay walon ko milnay kyun nahi deta?"
I gave up. Too soon.

-Zarish.

I cried, I cried my heart out, I cried at everything I lost, maybe this is the last time I cry, maybe it'll all be fine after I go away. I folded the paper and placed it on the table, I didn't want to do this but I knew that there was no going back, I can't lose any other thing inside me now. I've became more weaker, more coward, more scared than before.

Looking up at the fan that hung on the ceiling I decided what I should do and without a second thought I grabbed my veil and tied it to the fan.

Gulping down the fear inside me, I did what every other coward did. I closed my eyes, not being able to see my own death happening.

Tears streamed down my face as I put the veil around my neck, ready for my next actions.

I suddenly felt peaceful, I felt good, I felt a myself going away from this cruel world.

I couldn't feel my heart beat but I could feel, I could sense everything around me darkening slowly. My mind raced, bringing back the memories, the good ones and the bad ones.

I never wanted to do this, It just wasn't me. But look what people make you do, things which you didn't even imagine you would do in your life.

And here I am, feeling my life slowly escape out of my body.

3rd person's p.o.v:

"Shehry please take me to her! She's-she's in danger! I need to save her Shehry." I saw him shake furiously as perspiration dropped from his forehead.

"It's too late. She's gone. Forever." Was all he got as a reply.

He opened his eyes, to realize that it was again a nightmare, which felt so real. Again.

Gulping down the fear , he gulped down a glass of water kept beside him.

He is madly in love with her.

He had dark bags under his eyes and looked much thinner than before, as if all his life has been taken away from him, he looked broken as tears spilled from his eyes continuously.

He got up and closed his eyes as his head spinned a little because of the weakness.

He really was weak but I knew, he will do something, something big, I saw it in him.

He dragged himself to the prayer mat lying on the floor as he prayed to his Allah, to make everything right. To stop everything that's happening, to stop killing him slowly.

The white walls surrounding him felt getting closer, he felt suffocated, like a part of him was dying slowly. His heart wasn't at peace.

The sight was heartbreaking but it was in his fate, to loose someone so dear to him. Someone he can't imagine his life without.

I'm just waiting for the time he finds it all out, the time he does what he's supposed to.