I will save you

Chapter 2: Thoughts

Hiccup's POV

A wide grin spread across her face as she grabbed both my hands and pulled me closer. "Dance with me, Hiccup."

I grinned right back at her as I spun her around. "Anything for you."

The final rays of the sun lit up the world around us and left a breathtaking shimmer in those ocean blue eyes that had captivated me for years. We spun around, laughter ringing through our ears as we danced around the field. Our little dance slowed, and we were left chest to chest, heart to heart, unable to tear our gaze away from the other. I smiled down at her as I leaned in for a kiss.

But as our lips were about to touch, I lost my hold on her. Suddenly, she was standing on the other side of the field, a pained look on her face. I ran in her direction, only to find my legs unable to carry me.

"Why did you let me die, Hiccup? Why didn't you save me?" Her voice rang through my ears as I could feel my heart shatter in my chest.

"Astrid, please, you know that's not true!" I pleaded with her, panting heavily as I struggled to reach her.

"Why did you leave me, Hiccup?" She asked, her voice breaking as those gorgeous eyes of hers glittered with tears. "Wasn't I enough for you?"

"What? No! Of course you were! Please, Astrid, don't go!" My legs were growing tired as I fought with every fiber of my being to reach her.

A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Why did you leave me all alone?"

My chest was heaving as I shot up in my bed. I took a deep breath as I attempted to convince myself that it was all a dream, nothing more than a figment of my imagination. I grabbed a handful of my hair as I let my gaze wander around the dark room.

I had been waking up in the middle of the night or early in the morning nearly every day. It was grueling, and heart wrenching. Every night, hearing her voice, seeing her face and then losing her all over again. Every night a new scenario, every night a reminder of how I failed her, how I couldn't save her.

I bit my lip, holding back the sob that was building in my throat and the tears that were threatening to spill from the corners of my eyes. I couldn't wake Toothless, not again. I took another breath, attempting to calm myself even more as the darkness of my room seemingly seeped into my mind, twisting every thought and every emotion as my heart ached in tact with it.

I slipped out of bed and got dressed as quietly as I could. I had disturbed Toothless' sleep for so many nights that I would feel bad disturbing yet another one. All that I needed was some air, and maybe a little space just to clear my mind. I walked silently into the night, feeling a light breeze blow past me as I closed the door behind me. It had been long since I had been outside my house, and I had almost forgotten how peaceful the isle of Berk was at night.

I walked around town, looking at the homes, the closed doors and the empty streets. I walked past the forge, and found it just as dark as the rest of the village. I kept on walking, until I reached the hillside, which was even more peaceful and quiet than the village. I walked and walked until I reached a familiar cliff. A cliff I had sat at the edge of a hundred times over and a cliff where I had made many fond memories.

The image of Astrid danced across my mind as I walked to the edge, peering down at the dark waves that splashed against the rocks beneath. Just a gust of wind and it would all be over. A light shudder rippled through me as I took a cautious step back.

No. I had so many people who cared for me, a village that needed me and a best friend to top all others. I lived in a safe place, in a warm house, I had all anyone could ask for. All except for the love of my life.

I sank my teeth into my bottom lip as I fought back another flood of tears. Was any of it worth it? Was any of it worth it without her? My friends would eventually leave and I would eventually grow old and be replaced, having spent an entire lifetime by myself. How would I be able to keep going for years upon years when I had nothing to look forward to? No wife, no children, no one to spend my golden years with. It was pointless.

I took a step towards the edge of the cliff, balancing on the edge. They didn't really need me in the village, did they? I was completely expendable, easy to replace. My friends had one another, my mother had Cloudjumper and her friends and Toothless had the other dragons.

My lungs were once again filled with the salty ocean breeze, sending a wave of energy through me as I took another step backwards, before leaping head-first off the edge of the cliff. But it was as I was falling, that the fear of actually dying hit me. I had been in many near death scenarios before that moment, but every time before that, I had my safety net, Toothless. An unwilling scream escaped me as I plummeted down towards the sharps rocks below, regretting my decision immensely.

Right before I was about to black out, my fall was interrupted, and I was left flying away from the sharp rocks beneath the cliff, heart beating like crazy as I breathed a sigh of relief. I glanced up and found a familiar dragon clutching my arms. "Hey, bud, thanks for saving me over there."

The dragon cooed as we glided above the freezing water below, Toothless somehow managing to keep us from tumbling into the ocean as we flew away from Berk. Suddenly, Toothless dropped me, sending me plummeting towards the dark waves for a few seconds before he appeared beneath me, allowing me to land safely on his back.

I breathed yet another sigh of relief as I activated his tail and aimed for the skies. "Thanks again, bud. I promise I'll never do anything like that ever again."