Helpline: An Agony Aunt Advice Book

Entry 8: Best friends growing apart

Anonymous reader...

Dear Agony Aunt
Me and my bestie used to be really close but now things are awkward between us. I always invite her over to my house but she says she is busy or tired. But she hangs out a lot with our other friends and I'm wondering if she doesn't want to be friends anymore. What should I do?
Yours sincerely,
Confuzzled

Besties growing apart is a fairly common happening in teenagers such as yourself. It was when I was eleven going on twelve when I eventually found my group of people (shout outs to them :3). From experience, I know that a friend beginning to lose interest in you is one of the biggest heartaches you can go through. When my ex-bestfriend abandoned me, I was left feeling useless, inferior and lonely amongst many other truly negative emotions. However, her coldheartedness lead me to find Hannah, who is the most fantabulous girl in the world. It was only when she and my previous friend had an 'argument' over a boy they both liked when I started hanging out with Hannah. It was as if the utter rejection was only a small mishap to get me to where I am today. Yeah, she can be annoying sometimes but she's really a bubbly little sister to me at heart and I don't know how I'd live without her! We're pole opposites to be honest, making us closer than anyone else.

Anyway, enough of story time for now, it's time for some actual advice. What should you do? I personally think that your best option is to confront her. If she doesn't know how ignored you feel, she won't understand and help you. By telling her you're getting the message across simple as simple can be. You and her will be not only on the same page but also the same paragraph, same line, same word. After all, getting it out into the open will stop most of the sinking feelings I'm guessing you're experiencing.

Now, confrontation can go one of two ways- acceptance or dismissal. If she undertakes your opinion, it will end up that she will try to reverse everything. She may invite you out more, be kinder, all because of how guilty she will feel. Whichever way you react to this turn of events is something I cannot predict, but I hope you will be happy whatever happens.

On the other end of the scale is not so positive. It is most probably, especially in individuals who may be hormonal like most teens, that she will flip out. I have seen many enemies derive from a simple statement, such as two of my friends over a picture but I'm not going to get into that right now. By admitting that you feel unwanted someone may take it as you are dissing them and get offended. My advice for is if this happens is to end the friendship and find the people who you feel more at home with, who respect the real you and don't ignore it. Believe me, being accepted is one of the best feelings in the world!

In the end, it's your decision. In my opinion, you've already tried hard by inviting her even if she just declines which is rude. Judge how you think they would react and if it would help your well being. One thing I absolutely hate about this book is that I rarely know the sender well enough to give some worthy advice- it's really annoying! If I knew you both on a personal level I could tell you which way to go but I can't. The only thing I can tell you is to stop and think, how will she react?

From ciaramaeflower

xxx

P.s. There seems to be a few of my readers such as Entry 7 who are having friend issues, so I think that maybe some of my previous advice may be useful to you also.

P.p.s. Confuzzled is an epic word, totally using that some day. :D