Helpline: An Agony Aunt Advice Book

Entry 4: The 'popular girls'

Anonymous reader...

Alright, so I have a question. When all I've been doing is been nice, why do people hate me? The popular girls are always gossiping and spreading rumors about me when I'VE DONE NOTHING TO THEM. I don't know how to make them STOP.

That's something I can kind of relate to if I'm totally honest. Not the rumour part but more the gossiping and hating bit. And I hate it. I too don't believe I've done anything wrong but I do have a few 'words of wisdom' as I'm going to call it.

First of all, don't react. One of the biggest reasons people usually do this kind of thing is to get a reaction from you. They might take one of your best positives and turn it negative just for a bigger reaction, such as in my case my brains. I have had many comments about the fact that I'm smart and that it obviously means that I'm a 'cheater' and 'loner with no friends'. But these are simply not true. The lies people say about me are false and only I can determine if I am all these things they label me as. When they don't get an angry response from me, they generally stop targeting me and move on. I know it's not really saving much but sometimes you have to put yourself first as harsh as it may sound.

Secondly, talk to people. I have had a few of these 'popular girls' break my least nerve several times before. I have found that the best treatment is to basically b**** about them. I will usually just go to my friend Hannah and complain about them for hours on end. Even if it's only a few messages between yourself and a stranger like me, it really helps. However, the best people to do it with is people who also are targeted by these same girls, who know them. They will understand EXACTLY where you're coming from because they too have been or are in your position. I really don't want to go back to school because it'll mean seeing Charlotte again, but I think that I might be able to do more than just survive this year because I have all my wildflowers to talk to.

Finally, tell a teacher. We have a thing called a pastoral manager at our school. She is basically a woman that you can just talk to and she will listen. I am really shy and didn't want to talk to her but in the end, a teacher booked me an appointment because I became even quieter in class. I went round there and I ended up on the subject of the 'popular girls' I said about how I feel pressured to wear my skirt high (we have to wear school uniform) but also feel special for not doing everything for a boy's approval. She told me that I was right to feel special because very few girls my age have that level of integrity. Trusting her more, I told her about two individuals who I will not name. I spoke about how my PE teacher always picked them to be team leader or special helper because they were skinnier and prettier than the rest of us even though they weren't as athletic. I personally know that many of my classmates felt the same because they had tried their hardest in class with no reward. I told her everything and she wrote down the teacher's name. She spoke to the head of PE and got my teacher a lecture on morals from the head of PE. All of this was anonymously from me and I was pretty proud because everyone had something or other against her. Basically, what I am trying to say is to find a trustworthy teacher and tell them. They are literally trained to help you, they learn it at teacher school.

From ciaramaeflower

xxx