Helpline: An Agony Aunt Advice Book

Entry 5: Long distance relationships

Anonymous reader...

I'm dating this guy who was my best friend, but moved overseas. And I recently landed the main part in the school musical. All my time is divided between school work, family stuff and rehearsals. I've found it really hard to talk to him and I feel really bad because I can't have a decent conversation. I need your advice whether to stay with him

First things first, congratulations on getting the main part in the musical! Now for the advice part, I want you to think. Answer this question for me. In all honesty, do you really like this guy? I mean, really really maybe-long-term relationship or something you'll get over in five minutes?

If you're not all that interested, maybe you have different interests now or you just think you need someone closer to home, I'd break up with him. But do it gently, let him know that it's not him but it's you. Take all the blame even if it isn't all technically your fault. Try and be as understandable as you can and if he gets angry or emotional, the last thing you want to do is back down. It's not going to be a healthy relationship if the fact that you don't want to date is common knowledge. Things become very awkward. The last resort would be to offer to possibly date again when you've finished school, so no distractions can come between you. If he denies that then he don't deserve your time. Sorry but it's true.

On the other hand, if you have totally fallen with him and actually enjoy what little conversation you have, ignore everything I just said. Set aside a small amount of time every day to Skype him or call or however you want to talk. (Skype would be best because then you can see each other's faces when you talk and it seems more natural) Fix a time where everyday you both won't be busy and will be free for at least fifteen minutes. Think ahead of time and plan some topics that you will be able to slip into conversation. The last thing you want in a relationship is awkward silence, believe me.

From ciaramaeflower

xx